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Chapter 12 – Not Enough
Ruby
It wasn’t enough.
The vague sense of restlessness I’d been battling for weeks solidified into a physical yearning after our Bookstagram meeting. I needed something else, something more.
I stood hip to hip with Amber and Yiayia in the kitchen, peeling potatoes and chopping salad for our Sunday family dinner. Both boys were in the backyard, attaching trucks and wheels to their new skateboards.
Usually, on Sunday afternoons, conversation filled our little kitchen, but today I was lost in my own head. Amber was quiet, and even Yiayia had little to say.
“Okay,” Yiayia dismissed us. “I finish. You go rest. Go!”
We didn’t argue. Once we finished the prep work, Yiayia liked to do the actual cooking on her own.
Amber grabbed two sparkling waters, and we headed out to the front porch. We perched side by side on the concrete step, looking out over the street. Over the years, our neighbourhood became increasingly run-down until younger people started snapping up the older homes and remodelling. There were few of the original homes, like ours, left.
Everything changed.
Only I remained stagnant.
“What’s the matter, Ruby?” Amber asked softly.
I sighed. “I just feel restless, stagnant.”
Amber nodded slowly. “If you could snap your fingers and add something to your life, what would it be?”
I didn’t need to think about it. I attended a conference that summer, I’d just been too afraid to move forward. “I would franchise Spuds and get out from behind the counter. Secure a brighter future for Jace, security for Yiayia.”
“What do you mean, security for Yiayia?”
I sighed. “You know, just in case something happens to her health wise. Those homes, the good ones, they cost a lot of money. I’d want to give her the best care.”
Amber leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder. “We will, Rubes. If it comes to that, we will do whatever it takes to get her what she needs.”
I reached for her hand and linked my fingers with hers.
It seemed, no matter how we both had tried, that it was just us in the end.
“What do you want, Amber?” I asked softly.
She lifted her head and stared into the distance. “I just don’t know, Ruby. I wish I did.”
The boys burst through the front door with their new boards, Alex in the lead, Jace close on his heels. Yiayia’s voice carried outside. “Agoria! Get your elbow pads or I spank you!”
Amber and I burst out laughing. The things that woman said.
“So, franchising?” Amber asked, and I nodded. “I think you should do it, Ruby.”
“I think I will,” I suddenly decided. “I’ve dreamed about it for a long time.”
“Good,” Amber declared.
“What about you? What are you going to do?” I asked.
Amber smoothed her long skirt over her legs. She took a deep breath. “I’m going to take a good long look at all my options and see if I can’t make a decision about Angus and me.”
“Would you go to counselling with him?” I ventured.
