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I unlocked it and pushed it across the table to him, then, with my free hand, I swiped the tears from my cheeks.
He keyed in his number and called himself. “Let’s keep in touch over the next couple of days. If I don’t see you on the weekend, I’ll come see you here at your store next week, and I’ll let you know when I’m coming, so you’re ready for me.”
I nodded, unstopping the door that I’d dead bolted and wedged shut ten years ago. “Okay.”
I felt the tension leave his body in a mighty whoosh that surprised me. I raised my startled eyes to his.
“Don’t look so surprised, Ruby-mine. Nothing has ever been so important to me as what I stand to lose right now.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t!” He grinned, then pulled my hand across the table. Opening my fingers, he brought my palm up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to its centre that worked its way directly into my heart. “I won’t hurt you, Ruby-mine.” He closed my fingers around his kiss.
With my fist tucked snugly inside his, he spread out my three remaining brochures. Touching my first choice, he said, “This guy is overpriced and he’s a lazy fuck. I’m sure some of his consultants are okay but I wouldn’t recommend them based on what I know about the owner.” He tapped the remaining brochures with his finger. “These two companies are decent.”
I crumpled the brochure he dismissed, so that I would remember to discard it. I would have ripped it in half, but that would have required me to free my hand from his, and my body refused to relinquish his hold on me.
He squeezed my fist. “Ruby, I’d like you to consider going with my company. This is what I do. I can help you.”
I pulled my hand away, and his lips tightened in response.
“No. Absolutely not. What happens later when things fall apart? I just trot into your office and see you carrying on with your life without me?”
My eyes filled again, and I swiped my wrists across them impatiently. “Gah!” I stood up and walked away, needing to put some distance between us.
He sat back in his seat and raised his hands up in supplication. “No problem, Ruby. Let’s do this, then. You choose whichever company you want to go with, and I’ll guide you and advise you from the sidelines. Would that work for you?”
My thoughts were spinning. The truth was, I struggled to make even the smallest decision. I went over the same information repeatedly, but it wouldn’t stick. My ADHD brain, while brilliant when I was highly interested in something, or when looking at the big ideas, did not do so well when it came down to the finer details.
If I chose one of these companies, Vander could help me to sift through the information and answer my questions. Something about the whole thing niggled at my conscience, and as soon as I identified the uncomfortable feeling, I sat back down in front of him, my eyes on the brochures on the table. I fiddled with the two remaining brochures, then picked up the third and ripped it in half while I gathered my thoughts.
“I don’t want to use you,” I murmured.
He leaned forward abruptly, and my head snapped up to face him. He held my eyes, fierce determination in his.
“Use me. Use me, Ruby. I’ve never wanted anything so badly as to be of use to you.”
“I can’t promise anything,” I whispered.
“It’s okay,” he answered, a small half-smile on his lips. “I can.”
