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Leaning against the railing, I raised the bottle to my lips and drank deeply, eyes closed, savoring the sticky sweet malt coating my throat on the way down. The dew on the bottle reminded me of her tear on the tip of my finger, and my heart broke the tiniest bit at the recollection.
My brain told me to back off, give her a bit of space, and allow her to adjust, but my heart pushed to go harder. We’d lost so much time, and she’d been hurting for so long. The longer I drew this out, the longer she would stew in this no-man’s-land of doubt and insecurity.
She would have to adjust on the fly because I could give her no quarter. The faster I closed this deal with her, the faster she’d get her happily ever after, and I’d get mine.
I gritted my teeth in irritation as I thought about my own life. I’d been alone for so long. Fuck, even when I was married, I was alone. At least in B.C., George lived with me fifty per cent of the time.
Since moving here, I rambled around this house by myself on the nights I didn’t work out or work late. The loneliness I thought I’d grown accustomed to seemed to be growing exponentially by the day now that I knew Ruby was no longer tied to another man.
The pain of frustration would soon reach an intolerable level. I needed her here with me. Yanking a cheap plastic Adirondack chair closer to the railing, I sat down and propped my feet up on the lowest rail. The deck was nothing to write home about. I had ideas to improve the backyard but wanted her input.
The house itself was nice, if impersonal. It had been a model home a few years ago, but I had done nothing to personalize it, save for George’s room. No woman had stepped foot into this house. I bought it in hopes of one day building a life with Ruby.
I briskly rubbed my hands over my face in a wasted effort to rid myself of some of my impatience. I took another swig of beer then unlocked my cell and pulled up her number.
Vander: How does Saturday sound?
Three dots showed up almost immediately. I waited while she composed her reply.
Ruby: I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.
She was hesitant. At least she wasn’t outright turning me down.
Vander: I’ve set up a meeting with one of the companies on your brochures.
Ruby: You did? When?
Vander: Today. I know the owner. He’s willing to meet with you. He’s free Saturday.
Ruby: Thank you! I suppose I could meet with him.
Vander: I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.
Ruby: Wait. What? You’re coming?
Vander: Yes. We’re meeting him for dinner. That okay with you?
Ruby: Vander… I don’t think I can do this. I don’t have the strength. I’m being honest with you. You and I shouldn’t happen. I don’t want to hurt you.
Vander: Then don’t. I’ll see you at six-thirty on Saturday. You still live at the same address?
Ruby: You can’t pick me up from my house! Unless Jace sleeps over at Amber’s. You could maybe pick me up at Spuds?
Even in text, she blurted out all her thoughts unfiltered. It remained one of the many things I adored about her.
Vander: I’m not picking you up at Spuds. I’m picking you up from your home and I’m coming to the door like a fucking gentleman. I haven’t had a chance to visit your Yiayia, yet. This will give me the opportunity to say hello to her.
Ruby: Why do you even need to visit her? You haven’t seen her for over twenty years. Twenty years, Vander! And I’m not ready for you to meet Jace!
Vander: Well, you’ve got a few days to prepare yourself. Tell him it’s a business meeting if it makes you feel better.
There was a long pause. I held my breath. Hoped.
Ruby: You’re being kind of bossy.
I snorted. I wasn’t the green boy she first fell in love with, and I definitely wasn’t the shackled sad sack she’d hooked up with ten years ago. She would be the lucky recipient of the full force of my will and determination.
Vander: He’s a busy man, Ruby-mine. He’s in for Saturday. You want to do this or not?
