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I took this one after our first night together to remind me of how perfectly your body moved with mine on my bike, and in my bed. To remind me that you had a jealous streak signifying an insecurity I needed to keep a mind toward protecting.
I wasn’t sure I could take anymore. The pictures were odd, but the memories and words were so very sweet and rang with his truth. I had no choice but to keep going. I couldn’t have stopped even if I wanted to.
The next picture was my piano.
This picture means so very much to me. It signifies the moment I identified you as the source of music in my life. The things you had done for my kids at school cemented your place in my heart. It was also the day you told me about one who left, and I promised you that once I said ‘I love you’, I never would.
The next message said,In case you missed it, I love you.
A picture taken through the window of me laughing with Ruby and Amber.That night I learned I never truly knew what it meant to be happy before you.
A picture of the ticket stubs for The Goddess at Play and naked Shakespeare,we don’t need to speak of this.
My alarm panel,to remind me that you’re fragile, sensitive to rejection, and you operate by a code that I need to learn and respect.
The thin strap of my sundress over the back of my shoulder, my hand cupped around the back of Brayleigh’s head, our hands joined after I sang with his band, one that depicted Brayleigh and me at the zoo that I knew immediately I had to draw, Brayleigh’s little fingers pressed white on the back of my neck.
A sob broke through, the desire to claim that baby ripping through me even as I cowered away from her.
And Lucky’s words, the very place I long to press my kiss,called tomind the many times he’d done just that, in bed, in passing, even the day he pinned me to the door when I almost walked away from him, even that day he pressed his lips to the nape of my neck.
I moved to message him back, to apologize, tell him I love him, ask for his forgiveness.
Are you sure?
You can’t jerk people around.
How do you know you won’t leave again?
Are you going to discard Brayleigh the way your parents discarded you?
I carefully placed my phone down on the coffee table. The truth was, I could not be sure. I curled up on the floor while my brain spun its vicious rumors and I cried.
Chapter Forty-Eight - Heartstrings
Amber
It had been a long time since I’d seen Minty in this state. Two decades, in fact. I watched Gus take in the mess, his face a mask of shock.
I nodded to the lump on the floor that was Minty, and his face crumpled. Gently he scooped her up with one hand under her knees, the other around her lower back and held her high against his broad chest.
I whispered instructions to Gus while quickly gathering up the pillows and blankets from the floor to make up her bed. Time was of the essence. She wouldn’t want help once she was fully cognizant. I pursed my lips. As if she could ever be a burden.
Gus and Minty had a special relationship. I don’t know how it developed, they didn’t spend time together apart from me, but their two souls recognized each other. I used to imagine he was a brother she’d never met.
“Bedroom?” he asked, looking at me, his perception of her now stripped of her carefully constructed illusion.
I nodded and placed my finger over my lips to remind him to be quiet then ran my hand down his broad back to comfort him before moving ahead to fix the bed.
My throat tightened painfully. But now was not the time.
Minty lolled in his arms for a moment then seemed to realize she was airborne and cracked her eyes open. Seeing Gus, her entire body stiffened like a bow, arching out of his arms.
“No,” she moaned low, her voice guttural. “Don’t touch me.” She spread her fingers wide and held them in front of her eyes as if to assure herself they were there. A violent sob broke from her throat, and she begged pitifully. “Don’t let me touch you.”
Gus stopped moving and held her closer. He’d spent hours on the computer last night reading about OCD. Over the past couple of days, we all had. She was there for us and our boys in every way, and we should have done better by her. We would do better by her. Tears coursed a violent path down his craggy cheeks to the corners of his mouth.
“Amber,” he gasped.
