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“What—the—fuck?” he yelled.
I could tell by his face that the next thing that happened wasn’t going to be good. Never in a million years would I have guessed Shawn would act that way. I wouldn’t say he was an absolute gentleman, but he was close. He never raised his voice or laid a hand on me while we were together. Seeing this side of him was frightening. “What’s going on with you? You are not yourself, Shawn,” I said, trying to figure out exactly what was entering his mind. Something must’ve happened to make him act that way.
“I want you. I don’t understand why you don’t want me anymore?”
Suddenly, his face went dark. It was like something evil emerged. The old Shawn was no longer.
“I know why. Because you are too busy fucking with your boss to be worried about me. A dream come true for you. You get a paycheck and laid. Who could ask for more?”
What a dick! How did he know about Hudson? Had he been following me? But wait? If he had, then he would know that Hudson lived next door which meant he was ballsy for showing up at my apartment. Why not approach me on the street or somewhere in public?
The next thing I knew, Shawn forced me up against the wall with his hand around my neck. Tears started flowing from my eyes because I never saw him as capable of doing something like that. I put my hand on his cheek tenderly. “Tell me what happened? This isn’t you. I know you.”
In return, he looked sharply into my eyes, and right then, I knew something awful had happened that caused him to break. I continued to caress his cheek because I needed him to know I cared. Even though we were not with each other, I still cared. I had known him for years, even before we dated.
“It’s my parents. Their…their…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. His cheeks were flushed, and tears were streaming down. I knew without him saying it that his parents were dead.
“I’m so sorry. What happened?” I didn’t expect a reply right away because I couldn’t imagine my parents dying. If they did, it wouldn’t be my first pick as the topic of conversation. I was no longer afraid of him injuring me. I didn’t think he came here to do that, but he did need someone to show they cared. Shawn had no siblings, and his parents were all he had. Now they were gone. That caused him to break. He just wanted to find somebody to care for him. He needed a friend, and really, I was the only one who had ever been there for him.
“Listen, I might not want to be your girlfriend, but I will still be your friend. I am here for you. Come sit down, we can talk about this or not. Your choice, but we need to get you calmed down,” I said, trying to get him to sit down. I knew he was on the brink of a psychotic break, so I needed to prevent it.
He finally sat down and put his face in his hands. He was ashamed of the way he acted. I could understand how he felt, being left behind with no one to talk to or be there for him. That was devastating.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to put my hands on you. I am not that person. I just…thought…you would take me back. I have no one, Laurel. You are all I have now. I just don’t want to lose you,” he said sincerely. I believed him. He just needed someone. I could be that someone.
“I’m not going anywhere. We can be friends if you are aware that it won’t be more. I will be here for you. I know how much you loved your parents. Again, I’m so sorry this happened.”
I didn’t know what else to say him at that point. I knew Hudson should be back soon. Shawn wasn’t ready to see me with someone right now. Maybe I could talk him into going somewhere else for now. “How about we go out for lunch? Anywhere you want,” I offered.
He shook his head. “I’m not hungry. I haven’t had an appetite in a week.”
Well, now I knew he needed to eat. His body was probably worn down by the grief and pain. He needed to eat and stay hydrated, or he would cause himself health issues.
“Come on, I need to eat. Let’s go get something to eat.” I motioned to him as I got up, and he closely followed. We got out of the building before Hudson showed up, thank goodness. I didn’t know what would happen if they were to run into each other right now. Shawn could pick a fight. I was trying to avoid that. No drama. Not if I can help it. We made it to the restaurant, thankfully. We both needed a good meal. I could tell he hadn’t eaten in a week due to him scarfing down his food. “Where are you staying?” I urged.
He pointed down the street. “That hotel.”
So, he was staying close. How did I explain to him that he couldn’t just show up at my apartment? I didn’t want to come across rude but concerned.
“Why don’t you go to the hotel and get cleaned up and get some rest. I’ll come to see you in a couple of hours,” I said with a smile. I needed to at least let Hudson know about this. I couldn’t keep secrets from him, but I didn’t know how he was going to react.
Once we were done eating, Shawn headed to his hotel while I went home. Hudson should be back by now, and I was right. As I walked in the door, he was sitting on the couch looking at me.
“How was your day? Where have you been?”
“Well, one of my friends from my old life came to visit without warning. We went to lunch,” I said with a smile. I didn’t want him to suspect something was wrong. Although, I had a feeling he already suspected.
“Was this a man? Because I smell cologne,” he said, looking at me like he just caught me in a lie. No lie, he was a friend. He was just an ex too.
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you, but I don’t want you to freak out. Promise?” I asked him, waiting for a response before telling him.
He sat there in silence, waiting for me to explain. “My ex-boyfriend Shawn showed up here, but before you start freaking out, he knows we are not getting back together. We have been friends for years before we dated. He just lost his parents which is all the family he has ever had. He needs someone. He needs me.” As I was explaining the situation, his brows started furrowing, and he was shifting on the couch.
“I don’t feel comfortable with this. Why didn’t you call me and let me know? I don’t know if I am one hundred percent comfortable with you hanging out with your ex in private. Can you blame me?”
Woefully, I couldn’t blame him. How would I feel if he was off hanging out with one of his exes without me around? I’d be furious. So, I couldn’t do the same thing and expect him to understand, but how did I introduce them? “Babe, I think Shawn is on the verge of breaking down. I don’t want to do anything to make it worse right now. I just want to help him get better and back to himself. I promise there are no feelings for him floating around. The only person my heart wants is you. Right now, he feels like he is going to lose me as a friend. I’m the only person left that he has ever been close to. Can you give me at least tonight? I’ll bring him over tomorrow, and you can meet him. I just don’t want to make anything worse for him.”
I could tell he was furious. I was asking him to let me hang out with this guy by myself tonight. I know how crazy it sounded, but he could trust me. I would never cheat on him. He should know that.
