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“What are you doing here?”
“Switched with Liam and regret it,” I answer, slumping into a chair, and laying my head on the table.
“You look like shit. Everything okay?”
I shake my head. “Honestly, I have no fucking clue. Would rather be anywhere but work today.”
He waits for the coffee to be finished, and places a cup in front of me. “Drink up. We got a long day ahead of us. Calls or not.”
After it’s halfway gone, I turn on my phone and her text messages start coming in.
Vanessa: I swear that’s not been my intention. Listen, I like you, but it just feels rushed.
Vanessa: Hello?
Vanessa: I think it’s best if we stop now. You don’t deserve this, but this was a bad idea.
Is she fucking serious? It’s bad enough I have to work alongside her at the field, but she is taking the easy road out. She has feelings for me, and she’s just too scared to admit it. My fist slams down onto the table.
“Bro, you okay?”
I want to run over there, but she has made her decision. If she wants to push away a man that will treat her like a queen, then so be it.
“Let’s just find something to do, okay?” I say to Damon, while typing out a text.
Me: If that’s what you want, then fine. All I did was try to treat you good and if you want to let your ex get in the way, and influence your decisions, then so be it. I really tried.
At least she didn’t lead me on any longer. Vanessa is clearly not the one for me and my heart will remain protected.
19
VANESSA
Things have gone downhill. Lee is fucking with my head. Brodie is amazing, and I want to let him in, but everything is pushing me to say it’s too soon. He doesn’t deserve to be used, and I don’t want to jump into a whirlwind romance right after getting out of a ten-year relationship. Brodie has been nothing short of amazing, but I have doubts. What if he isn’t the guy for me and I get my heart broken? What if things go great, he gets close with Sherrie, and then disappears? My fears are more based on protecting my child than my own. Is it normal to go through this?
Practice tonight is going to be awkward, but we will keep it professional. Our issues should not affect the team, and I plan to keep it that way. I haven’t texted him back since his response this morning, which is still stuck in my head.
Lee is not the reason for me backing off. There are no romantic feelings toward him anymore, and he has to remember that I spent ten years of my life with Lee. Brodie walked into my life when I was just getting out of a serious relationship, and wants me to jump right back into one. My life hasn’t even calmed down from the previous one, and Sherrie is not going to be okay with me dating someone else so soon.
It is ridiculous to let my daughter influence my decisions, but her happiness matters to me, and I’m not the only that gets hurt if things go south. I have to take that into consideration no matter what I want.
The entire morning I’ve been in bed, trying to figure out how to get over him. How can I feel this deeply after only a week or so of knowing him? My heart is being pulled out of my chest.
Tina is cleaning up her station when I walk in, and the dark circles under my eyes already tell her the story. She frowns, and gives me a hug. “Trouble in paradise already?”
“Sorry, I couldn’t be here this morning. Brodie and I broke up or whatever.” I tuck my hair behind my ear, and sit down in my oversized t-shirt and leggings.
“What did he do?” Tina asks, sitting down next to me. “I’ll kill him.”
When I tell her it was my decision, her eyes bug out.
“Why in the hell would you break up with him?”
She only knows what I have shared, and maybe she’s right.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as happy as you have been since going out with him. You might not listen to me, but you are making a mistake.”
Right now I am stuck in this push pull situation. I want to be with Brodie, but then something in my gut is telling me to stay away. Which one do I listen to?
