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“I wouldn’t even be in this situation if you didn’t push me to go out with him. I wasn’t ready... Now, I can’t stop thinking about him.”
My intention isn’t to be harsh with Tina, but it’s the truth. If she didn’t open her mouth at the softball party, than things would be normal. I wouldn’t have to push him away. Why is he the only one I want comforting me right now?
“If you want to blame me for finding someone who made you happy, so be it, but you are the one running away,” she says, walking out the salon and leaving.
Fuck. Now she’s mad at me, too. Why do I keep screwing up? Maybe it’s better for me to skip practice today, but honestly I’m worried that if I send Lee with Sherrie, he will start drama. Brodie doesn’t deserve that.
I lock the salon up, and head to get Sherrie from school. The team can’t suffer because of our issues outside of it, so I have to go and put on my best smile for the kids.
It’s easier said than done, when I pull up at the ball field and Brodie is standing there. He doesn’t look the best either, and probably had a long night like me. This is screwing with both of us, and I need to figure out what I want.
“Hey coach,” Sherrie says, running into the dugout.
Brodie exchanges a quick smile, and then goes back to staring at his clipboard.
What? He can’t even look at me now?
“So, what is the plan for today? Batting drills? Outfield?” I ask, hands on my hips.
He nods, without even looking up. He isn’t in a place to talk to me right now. Neither am I, but I’m here.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” I ask, touching his arm, and his eyes stare blankly back at me. “Please?”
He walks out to the parking lot, and people are walking passed us. I wait until they are by the dugout and bleachers before I open my mouth.
“Listen, we are having problems, but let’s not take it out on the team. The girls don’t deserve us in a bad mood. Can we keep this professional while we are on the field?”
Brodie runs his fingers through his hair, and his jaw tightens. “I’m trying, okay. What do you expect when you make me fall for you and then you just run away?”
My jaw drops, and I can’t speak. Fall for me? He starts to pace, and then he lowers his voice down to a whisper.
“Vanessa, you are the one that needs to figure things out, not me. I know exactly what I want. You have known that from our first date. Please don’t play around and act like I am at fault for any of this. Now, let’s go get practice started. We are already behind.”
He walks off to the dugout, and I’m left in the parking lot with a million things going through my head. Brodie is falling for me? A tear falls and I wipe it right up. This is not the place for this, but he’s right.
Why am I pushing away a good man?
Practice is rough, but we get through by staying on opposite sides and running drills with the girls separately. Lee has called me a couple of times, but I haven’t answered. He’s probably still upset about Brodie and me. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of us breaking up after he left last night. He’s a coward, playing tricks with my mind, and I think Brodie is right.
I’m done letting my life fall apart and putting myself second. Lee has no say so in who I date, and when. His mind trick of still having feelings for me is fucking with my head, and I won’t let it happen anymore. He had ten years to make our relationship work and he failed.
When Sherrie and I arrive at home, Tina is waiting on the porch for us, a wine bottle in hand. We can’t stay mad at each other for long, and I need to apologize.
“Go inside and take a shower,” I tell Sherrie, as I approach her. “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. You’re right. I’m pushing him away and sabotaging my own happiness.”
She smiles, and follows me inside to grab two wine glasses. “I knew you would come to your senses. Men like him don’t come around often. You have to give it a chance.”
A car pulls into my driveway, and Tina peeks out the window. “Were you expecting Lee?”
My head tilts back and I scoff. “Nope, but he would just show up at my house like he owns it.”
I walk out, and put my hands on the door when he tries to open. “You aren’t welcome here right now. Go home.”
“We need to talk, Nessa. About what I said last night.”
“Actually, you told me you still had feelings for me, after you found out I was seeing someone. Why are you trying to manipulate me?”
He forces the door open and grabs my arms. “I love you, Nessa. Maybe it took me seeing you with another man to realize it, but it’s the truth. Just give me one more chance before you start dating someone else, please?”
