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“I just didn’t think women did that. Fight fires. That’s cool.” He looks down at the table.
He tries to change the subject and tell me about Michigan, but honestly I just start to tune him out. Why do people have to be so sexist about things like professions? It’s not the 1950s anymore.
“Is there a problem with women being able to do the same job as any man?” I ask, not being able to hold my tongue anymore.
“Well some jobs... they just wouldn’t have the strength to do…”
And that’s when I lose it. “Have you never heard of Camilla Parlew. She is the strongest woman in the country. Would you tell her she doesn’t have the strength to do a man’s job, because she could bench-press twenty of you without breaking a fucking sweat.”
I leave a ten dollar bill on the table as I get up, walk out the door, and get into my car.
Why did he have to be sexist? I thought he might be a sweet guy, until that comment.
My phone starts to vibrate again, and I pull it out of my pocket. Noah has called me three times, but not voicemails or text messages. I let it go to voicemail and take off.
12
NOAH
There is going to be a spot on my rug from all this damn pacing. Why is she even out with that guy, anyway? A growl erupts from my throat, and my knuckles clench. How am I supposed to be okay with this? Maybe we can’t be together right now, but I didn’t think she would be dating someone new in a matter of days.Jesus.Or is she just doing this to get a rise out of me? I throw my phone on the couch. Why won’t she answer the phone?
All I can imagine is this douchebag being someone who uses her to satisfy his needs and then breaks her heart, and even if I can’t have her right now, I don’t want her to go through that. I should stop calling her. Hell, I’m the one that told her we couldn’t see each other anymore, and I’m over here pacing around my house like a fucking idiot, while she’s out on a date with some stranger.
The thought of his lips on hers, I can’t fathom it. Am I going to lose her? Leslie is making me go crazy, and throwing all my sanity out the window. Do I stop being a pussy and just say fuck it? Is being happy more important than my tenure? Or my reputation at the university?
No, I can’t. It would be career suicide.
A rap at the door takes me out of my head, and I jog to the door.
“Who the hell…”
When I open the door, Leslie is standing there, cheeks flushed, and arms folded. “What are you doing here? This isn’t a good idea.”
“Just let me in, Noah,” she says, walking right in, and straight to the couch.
She’s already hard to resist in front of others, and now here we are alone. My self-control isn’t what it used to be, and after relieving myself while thinking of her today, I’d love nothing more than to be inside her right now.
“Why are you calling me? You told me to stay away. Make up your fucking mind!”
I don’t even know how to respond. Do I tell her that I want to throw everything away for her? Or, will that just scare her away?
“Are you even listening to me?” she says, waving her hands in front of my face.
I grab her wrists, and hold them. “Give me a minute, damnit. You just showed up at my house. Do you have any idea how much I want to push you up against that damn wall right now? Say to hell with it all, and just not care?”
I let go of her wrists, and start pacing in front of the fireplace again, running my fingers through my hair. This is insane. I’m like a fucking addict waiting for their next fix and it’s right in front of me.
“I need you to tell me right now. Are we going to stay away from each other or not? We are both too old for this back-and-forth bullshit.”
She gets closer to me, and I capture her cheeks with my hands. “I want so much to see where this leads. Truly, but aren’t you scared someone will find out? What happens if the university does, and then they start reviewing all your work to see if I fairly assessed you?”
Leslie doesn’t have anything to worry about because no matter how good the sex is, or how much I like her, she will only receive grades she has earned. I’m not that type of professor.
“I won’t worry about that. Literature is my strong suit. They can check all they want, the grades I receive will be earned, Noah. Don’t ever give me a grade I don’t deserve.”
She looks up at me through her lashes. “So which is it?”
I look deeply into her eyes, and then my lips are on hers. The will to stay away is broken, and all I want is her. Her hands lace into my hair and all my self-control goes out the window. Leslie is someone who I can’t help but want to be around, and so what if she’s my student. We are both grown adults and as long as we keep it under wraps until she graduates, we won’t have a problem. I’m sick of fighting it.
