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5
My skin felt itchy and I had to fight against the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in the shitty trailer I grew up in. Restlessness seeped into every inch of me, making me feel like I needed to claw my way out of this place. The minutes seemed to crawl by. I’d waited so long for this day and I had a plan. I wanted out the second the moon rose high enough to break the wards that kept me prisoner here. Instead, I was faced with showing my face at the stupid First Moon Ceremony.
I stood, my ancient bed creaking and groaning as I rose. Running my hand through my hair, I paced in the tiny space. Waiting was a hiccup, but it didn’t change my plan. I was still getting out of here as soon as I could. It just delayed me a few minutes. A few hours at most. As soon as the others shifted, I felt confident I could leave without issue.
I’d never attended a First Moon Ceremony but I had some information about what to expect. Only those who were making the first shift or already shifted pack members were allowed to attend. The Alpha and Beta always attended, along with the new members. Their family usually came to experience the first shift with them and sometimes friends or other pack members would join. It was technically open to anyone who had shifted but from what I’d heard, it was generally a small group.
With a ceremony every month, it wasn’t a big deal for the whole pack but it was for the family of the newly shifted. I’d heard about how humans threw big parties for significant birthdays or graduations. We didn’t do that here. When we finished high school, they handed us our diploma at the end of the day on the last day of school. No ceremony, no party. Justsee you in the fall. The only thing that mattered to the pack was the ability to shift.
So you can imagine how useless a wolf who can’t do that one thing is. And nobody here let me forget it. My mom and I were alone in this curse, the only members of the pack unable to shift. It was a terrible way to grow up. When I was in middle school, I’d spent hours at the library reading about possible ways to break the curse. I’d wanted to fit in so badly. There were very few suggestions on breaking the magic. Finding a witch to do it was possible and there were people who thought that completing a mating bond might be enough, but none of my research seemed strong enough to follow up on. It was all theoretical.
By the time I reached high school and saw kids I grew up with go through the change, I realized I didn’t want to stay. Bonding with your wolf was supposed to be this great gift. It amplified your strengths. I noticed it also amplified your weaknesses. Kids who were assholes before the shift were even greater assholes after. People with high sex drives pre-shift were now sneaking into the bathrooms between classes to have a quickie. Those who were already loud never seemed to shut up post-shift. You get the picture. Amplified strengths and weaknesses. A bunch of horny, angry dickwads running around. Why would I want to be like them?
A door creaked and I stopped pacing, my heart thundering in response. Had Julian come back in against Tyler’s wishes? I grabbed the baseball bat I kept on the floor next to my bed and crept toward my door. Thankfully, I kept the hinges on my door well-oiled and it opened quietly. I peeked out just in time to see my mom close the door to her bedroom.
My throat tightened and I closed the door, leaning back against it. She didn’t bother to come out and help me when I was fighting against a shifter, but she ducked out in the quiet. Likely to re-fill her coffee. It was probably good that I wasn’t planning to return here. She wasn’t worth the risk. I was better off without her.
It seemed like the shifters outside were going to follow Tyler’s orders to leave me be. There was nothing to do but wait. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. Maybe I could at least get a little extra rest.
Somehow, I managed to fall asleep. I wasn’t normally a napper, but I suppose it was easier when there was literally nothing else to do. I looked around my now dim room and rubbed my eyes. The red numbers on my alarm clock showed that it was already after five. How the fuck had I managed to sleep all day? Maybe it was the stress. I guess it was helpful since I’d now be able to stay up all night if it took a while to find a place to crash.
I grabbed my bag and ventured out of my room. My mom’s door was open. I supposed she’d left at some point. For the first time all day, I didn’t feel upset or hurt by her lack of concern. I’d accepted it for what it was and was fully ready to get the fuck out.
No sense in trying to avoid my jailers by sneaking out the back. I walked right out the front door to find Kyle waiting alone. He was sitting in the dying porch swing and jumped to his feet when I approached.
“Where’d the rest of the idiot triplets go?” I asked.
He shrugged. “They just told me to wait for you.”
“Do we have to wait for them to return or can you handle walking me to the barn yourself?” Three of them really was overkill. Kyle was the weakest of the three but even the weakest shifter had the strength of at least three humans. A little flicker of jealousy rose inside me. I wanted that strength. If I shifted and bonded with my inner wolf, I could fight back and actually have a shot at protecting myself. Maybe even inflicting the same kind of damage they did to me. It would be amazing to be able to defend myself and kick some ass. But that wasn’t possible.
First on my list when I could afford it was to join some human fighting classes. I couldn’t fight off shifters, but I could at least make sure I wouldn’t be the weakest human when I settled in my new home.
“You got everything you need?” he asked. “I assume you’re running after.”
I lifted my bag. “I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.”
Kyle and I walked silently away from the trailer park toward town. The ceremony took place in a wide pasture area next to a barn that was more ruin than actual barn. It was a prime location for shifting because it was right next to the huge wooded area that covered the entire south side of the magical barrier.
I had wanted to make my exit on the other side of town, away from the wolves, but I could decide more once I saw which way they ran. I knew there was a good chance the guests attending would shift and run with the new wolf. I still wasn’t sure why Tyler was insisting I stayed for this.
“Hey, what’s really going on here?” I asked. “Why does anyone care if I attend the ceremony tonight?”
“I just know the alpha wants you there,” Kyle said.
“Don’t bullshit me. The alpha doesn’t care where I am or what I do. This is Tyler. Why?”
Kyle shrugged. “You know what I know. He told us there was something about needing all the pack members who had birthdays before this moon to be in attendance.”
“You really don’t think for yourself ever, do you?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied.
“Sure, I do. You’re the tag-along. Julian got the mark. He’ll be a Beta one day or an enforcer at the least. You? You’re nothing. You hang around Tyler hoping his status will lift yours but without him, nobody even gives you a second glance.” It was true. Kyle had been the weird kid, only a step above me when we were younger. Sometime around the end of middle school, he’d suddenly been welcomed into Tyler’s group.
“What exactly do you provide to the group? I know they didn’t have you join for your fierceness or strength.”
“Shut your mouth, reject,” he snapped.
