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“I don’t have to line up in my birthday suit, do I?” I asked.
He laughed. “Not unless you want to.”
I knew there was a kick-off and that one of the elders would signal when the moon was considered full enough to start the ritual. The shifters would line up and shift together. There were going to be a lot of witnesses if I didn’t shift like the rest of them.
When Xander had explained this to me and invited me to attend, I’d almost said no. It was terrifying enough to experience my first shift in private, but adding in the extra layers of being the alpha’s mate and the eyes on me made it even worse.
“If you leave your clothes on, they’ll tear as you shift.” He stopped walking and turned so I was facing him. “My grandpa is going to call the moon when it’s time. You and I will wait until the others have shifted and started running. Then you can shift if you’re ready.”
I bit down on the inside of my lip. How did I get so lucky with him? I wanted to shift. It was the one thing I always wanted. But now that it was here, it seemed like a burden I wasn’t sure I could take on.
Mostly, it was the unknown. In theory, I should be able to shift. But if I didn’t, what did that mean for Xander and me? What if I didn’t shift and he decided he wasn’t my mate?
My pulse raced as fear made my chest tighten. It wasn’t about becoming a wolf, it was about Xander. I didn’t want to lose him. I couldn’t lose him. Fern had said that once we completed our bond, I’d shift.
What if she was wrong?
“Whatever happens, I’m on your side,” Xander said, as if he could read my mind.
“Thank you.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Now, walk me through the process one more time.”
“You’re fine, Skylar. You can do this. You’ll feel it, trust me.” He squeezed my shoulder. His tone was so confident that I almost believed him. I wondered how young wolves felt before their first shift. For them, it was expected but not guaranteed when exactly it would happen. There was anticipation, but not expectation around a certain full moon.
A few shifters walked toward us and started a conversation with Xander. I spent the next half hour smiling and nodding along with conversations as various well-wishers came to greet us. They congratulated us, asked about my previous pack, and were generally polite when Xander told them I’d been unaffiliated.
I didn’t catch most of the specifics, though. I was far too distracted. The heavy sense of dread in my gut mixed with adrenaline. It was an odd cocktail that made me feel unsettled. I wanted to run away and hide all at the same time. I wondered if it was comparable to something like stage fright. I’d never had to deal with public speaking, but it was the only thing I could compare it to. I was about to attempt my first shift in a very public way.
A horn sounded in the distance and the shifters around us straightened. Everyone was suddenly alert and I could feel the excitement in the air.
“It’s time,” someone said. “Welcome again, Skylar.”
I smiled, wishing I was better at remembering names. “Thank you.”
The shifters around us walked away, some of them stripping their clothes as they did. Xander grabbed my hand again. “You’re going to love this. Trust me.”
I sure hoped I did but if for some reason I didn’t shift, I hoped I’d still have Xander as my mate by the end of the night.
