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“Ja, jeg snakker norsk, pen gutt,” I say, and suddenly all the conversations I’d had with my mother cross my mind. It was so funny that I could talk to her without my father understanding us. Although he’s been trying hard to learn the language of the love of his life, it took him quite some time before he could communicate freely. And now, she’s gone.
“I’ve no idea what you’ve just said but it sounds cute, Firefly.” He whispers, and his voice seems so soothing. It’s like medicine for my pain. I close my eyes and let myself be vulnerable. I’m just a human being that has been trying to hide the pain for too long until it exploded, crashing the thick walls I’ve surrounded myself with to avoid people pitying me. I’ve been strong for long enough, and now, it feels like I don’t have to bear this pain alone anymore.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I start becoming defensive. Not towards Damien. However, I rarely let anyone see my vulnerability, so this is new territory for me. “I don’t cry… like ever,” I say, wiping the tears away.
“It’s okay, Firefly,” Damien looks down at me, cupping my cheeks in his hands. “You can cry. I won’t tell a soul. Promise.” He smiles before planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
I inhale and exhale a few times deeply, losing myself to his intoxicating scent until I’m calm again. “Thank you,” I whisper so quietly I’m not sure he can catch it.
“I’ll stop smoking.”
“What?” I step back to look at him.
“I quit,” he says determinedly. “This very second. From now on, I won’t smoke.”
“Damien, I’m not asking you to quit,” his words take me off guard. “Just not to smoke when I’m around.”
Damien looks at me for a few seconds before he approaches me, placing his hand on my cheek again and gently brushing it with his hand. His lips curl up into a soft smile, “I know, Ava. But I want to do it.” He looks deeply into my eyes before adding, “For you.” And my heart skips a beat.For me?
“You make me want to be a better person,” he continues, and his voice sounds so peaceful, so genuine.
“Damien…,” I whisper, at a loss for words. What he’s just admitted to me is so beautiful. Hearing that you’re the reason for someone wanting to be a better person is one of the most wonderful things, right?
He takes a deep breath, not breaking eye contact, and suddenly his eyes are filled with grief, “I know how it feels to lose someone you love, Firefly. I lost my brother, Alec.”
“Damien…,” I grab his hand and squeeze it in mine.
“He wasn’t only my brother, you know?” He continues, and I don’t say anything. I just let him speak. “He was like a father to me. A father that I’ve never had. But, also a guardian, teacher… best friend.”
“I’m so sorry, Damien,” I put my hand on his cheek and gently turn him to face me. Our eyes flicker for a while as we stay there in silence.
“He got shot, Ava…,” Damien’s voice nearly breaks, and a single tear drops down his cheek. “Two years ago. He was so young.” I feel my stomach clench as I watch the toughest guy I know fighting in front of me with the demons of his past. Fighting so that he doesn’t break. I slide my hands around his waist and hug him. Holding him tight just like he did for me.
“I’m so sorry, Damien,” I whisper, and I feel his chest moving up and down as he breathes deeply. And I hold onto him, trying to chase away the pain, the demons. I hold onto him even though we’re both close to breaking.
“I’m here for you, Damien,”
I say, sliding my hand up around his neck and letting him rest his forehead on mine.
Hesitantly, Damien places his hand at the back of my head, entwining his fingers in my hair. He takes a deep breath before resting his chin on my head.
“Thank you, Ava,” he whispers, inhaling my scent. “Thank you for being here with me.”
