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17
Viv satup straighter in her seat as headlights shone on a dilapidated-looking cabin. Viv considered herself a strong, independent woman who was more than capable of taking care of herself, but she had to admit that she was happy she wasn’t alone as they drove up to the creepy cabin in the middle of nowhere.
“This is it.” Glenn shut off the engine and they both sat in the SUV.
She started to get out, but he reached across the console and put his hand on her leg. The innocent contact shot straight to her lady parts, and she sucked in a short breath.
“Wait.” His voice was practically a growl and she felt it vibrate through her.
Much too soon for her liking he removed his hand. She was tempted to try and bolt again just to see if he’d put his large, capable hand back on her thigh.
“Let me go check things out first.”
A forced laugh came from deep inside Viv’s chest. “If you think I’m gonna wait in the car while you go knock on the door, you’re fucking crazy.”
Their eyes were locked, and she could see that Glenn wasn’t thrilled that she wasn’t going to sit on the sidelines, but she honestly didn’t care. She’d wanted to find this man since the day he took off. Sure, she was only three at the time, but she remembered it vividly. It was, in fact, her first memory.
She’d woken up in the middle of the night and got out of bed to ask for water. She went to her parents’ room and saw that her dad was packing a bag and her mom was sitting on the edge of their bed crying. Even at that young age, she had a memory of the moment being…heavy. So heavy that she didn’t say a word. Which was unusual for her, even at three. She’d been born very vocal and had always loved being the center of attention. Her middle name was Star, after all, and she felt it was appropriate because she always felt like there was a spotlight on her and she was center stage.
But in that moment, she stayed back in the shadows. She watched, silently, as her mom stood up and hugged her dad. The memory is fuzzy but Viv remembered thinking the hug went on for a long time. When she saw them step back from the embrace and start walking toward the hallway she ran back into her room. Then when she heard the front door open, she climbed up onto her dresser and watched her dad get in his truck and drive away.
That’s the last time she’d seen the man.
When she was a kid, she used to think he was going to show up out of the blue to surprise her. She dreamed of him showing up at school one day to pick her up. He never did.
When she was in middle school and had to have her appendix removed and she had to stay in the hospital, she’d been sure that he was going to walk through the door with a big, oversized teddy bear. He didn’t.
When she was a freshman in high school and made the cheerleading team, every game she’d look in the stands for him. She was convinced that he was going to attend one of the games and they would have a YouTube worthy reunion. He never showed up.
When her mom died when she was sixteen, she just knew that he would come back to make sure that his daughters were okay, especially since three of them were under the age of eighteen. He didn’t.
She realized then that he was gone. Really gone. And thanks to fucking cancer, so was her mom.
For a few years she acted out by drinking too much, ditching school, and seeking attention from boys. She’d barely graduated college, but she managed to squeak by.
Actually, the older she got, the more she realized she owed Grace a huge apology. She’d put her sister through hell during those years. She did whatever she wanted, including extremely self-destructive behavior without caring who was affected by her bad behavior.
After college, her rebellion came in the form of never giving any other person the power to hurt her. That was why she kept her “relationships” and she used that term loosely, casual. Brief. No strings. No commitment. No feelings.
That was her way of protecting herself. Now she realized that that behavior led to emptiness. She was done being empty. She was done feeling sorry for herself. And she was done waiting for him to show up. She was taking matters into her own hands.
She reached for the handle and got out. As she and Glenn walked up to the door she wondered if it was too late to knock and would they be disturbing him. It was eight o’clock. Would he be in bed?
Oh well, if it was a stranger, he’d have a good story to tell. If it was her father, he deserved to be woken up. If he wanted to sleep in peace and not have long-lost daughters showing up on his doorstep at all hours of the night, he shouldn’t have abandoned them.
The porch was nearly pitch black as they stepped onto it and Glenn opened the screen door which creaked loudly. There were two light sconces hanging on either side of the door, but apparently, they didn’t have a motion sensor, or they were burnt out. Either way, they were cloaked in darkness as she lifted her hand and knocked on the door.
She waited for a few seconds, probably thirty and then knocked again. After another minute, she knocked again, this time with a little more force.
“I didn’t see any vehicle out front.” Glenn pointed out. “He might not be home.”
Viv wasn’t ready to give up so easily. She waited another minute and then knocked a few more times for good measure, giving ample time between each knock for someone to make it to the door. The last time she graduated from knocking to pounding with open-up-it’s-the-police power.
Still, there was no answer.
“We’ll come back tomorrow,” Glenn offered as a consolation prize.
Viv nodded, feeling a combination of defeat and discouragement.
