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“From what I know, your situation with Jackson was unique. You were both young and probably immature. You didn’t know what life was yet. You were looking for a way out and found it in him, and maybe the foundation of that relationship wasn’t strong to start with. When you take the time to get to know someone and experience life with and without them, you get to make a choice. Is life better with them or not? If it is, it’s probably worth taking a chance to spend it together.”
“I know my life is better with Logan in it. But I don’t know if the reverse is true. I’m scared I can’t make him happy, and that some…physical issues I have will eventually drive a wedge between us.”
“Have you talked to Logan about that?” Lauren asked gently.
“Not since that night at your house. I don’t think he wants to hear from me.”
“I doubt that. You don’t stop wanting or loving someone just because you had a fight.”
“I’m not so sure.” Jeni swallowed. Logan had seemed pretty upset when he left that night, and she couldn’t blame him.
“Andrew and I have had more than one fight since we met. Hasn’t stopped us.”
Jeni scoffed. “That’s because it’s Andrew.”
“Why does that make a difference?”
“I don’t know. Because Andrew’s my family, I guess. He’s been there for me for my whole life, and I don’t see that ever changing. That’s what family does.” It was the big difference between family and relationships. The first was an unbreakable bond. The second could fall apart at any moment. Her family would never hold it against her that she couldn’t have children. But a husband might.
Lauren let out a noise of disgust. “Not my family.”
“What do you mean?” Jeni didn’t know much about Lauren’s life outside her job and her relationship with Andrew.
“Far as my parents were concerned, their lives would be easier if I wasn’t around. They had me young and each married other people. Started other families. I was like the awkward bastard child for both of them. It wasn’t until I moved here and met friends at the cancer center, and Andrew, that I found what I considered true family. It’s not all about whose blood runs in your veins. Sometimes it’s about the choices you make. The people you choose to surround yourself with can be your family.”
Jeni looked down at her hands, thinking.
“What’s Logan’s family like?” Lauren asked.
“It’s mainly just his mom. But she’s wonderful. He’s adopted, actually. He had a pretty rough childhood without a father and a neglectful mother and spent a lot of time in the foster care system. The Davises adopted him when he was thirteen, and they were the best parents anyone could ask for.”
Lauren tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced outside. “Do you think his adoptive mother’s love toward him is conditional?”
Jeni balked. “No,” she answered immediately. “That woman adores him and he, her. Their relationship is rock solid.”
“And yet, it’s a choice for both of them, isn’t it? He wasn’t born into that family.”
“I guess.” Jeni fixed her eyes the empty beer bottles near her feet.
Lauren was quiet for a moment. “You want to know what I think?”
“I’m not sure.”
“That’s fine. I’ll tell you anyway. Sisters speak their minds, right?” Lauren crossed her arms and leaned a hip on the bench. “I think you’re not giving Logan enough credit. If he knows everything about you, including the details of your past relationship and the physical issues you mentioned, and he still says he wants to be with you? If you trust him, you’ve got to believe him. He’s a grown man and can make his own decisions. You have no right to question that. Now, if you think he’s straight up lying, then there’s an obvious trust issue there, and that’s no foundation for a relationship. But I don’t get the feeling that’s the problem here. Do you trust him and trust his judgment?”
“I trust him. His judgment is questionable though. I mean, he likes the Chiefs.”
Lauren chuckled. “I also think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’ve got a lot of great qualities. You’re a great catch, regardless of what happened in the past. Seems like the problems in your first marriage stemmed from some circumstances beyond your control. You need to stop assuming you have some great shortcoming that renders a successful relationship impossible. If everyone thought that after a bad experience, no one would ever get married, and the human race would die off.”
“I don’t know how people do it.” Jeni rubbed at her forehead. “The idea of doing it again is terrifying.”
“I understand.” Lauren said. She pulled her long, auburn hair over her shoulder. “Hey, you played softball, right? Andrew said you were the best in the state.”
“Yeah,” Jeni said, a little disoriented at the change in topic. “I still play a little.”
“Then I’m surprised you don’t gravitate toward the idea of being part of a team. That’s one thing I’m most excited about—that Andrew and I get to navigate this life together. I don’t have to do it alone like I have most of my life. Marriage is just like being on a team. And you both have different strengths, so when you share the same goal you can do so much more together. It’s like, if you’re the best batter but he runs faster, you hit and bring him in to run, and you both get farther than you would on your own.”
Jeni blinked, letting the words sink in.
The analogy hit her smack in the middle of her chest. She didn’t know if it was because she and Logan had been in that exact scenario—she bats, he runs—or if it was something else, but whatever the case, it clicked.
Being part of a team. Why hadn’t she ever thought about it like that?
Every member of her high school team had the same goal in mind. They put in the hours and work to give them the best shot of getting there. Jeni didn’t always like every person on the team or agree with everything they said, but they all learned to put aside those differences when they stepped onto the field.
When it really mattered.
They made sacrifices for the good of the team, even if it meant losing personal recognition. They knew who was best at what and capitalized on those strengths. They worked together to fill in the weak spots, and they always, always had each other’s backs.
And most important of all: if each position wasn’t filled with just the right player, everything fell apart.
