AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Once we got there though, he didn’t want to leave. The farm was hours from a major town, and me continuing school was impossible. I kept asking when we would get back to our life, and one day he sat me down and said he planned to keep running the farm. He liked doing it, and it was our new life, whether I liked it or not. He said he had a responsibility to his family and I needed to support him in that and basically expected me to conform to the farm wife. Cook, keep the house clean, wash his clothes. I’d watched my mother do that my whole life, and it was never something I wanted for myself. I tried to do it for a while, just to give it a chance. I hated it. I was miserable, and I hoped Jackson would notice and we could figure out something that worked for both of us.”
Logan liked Jackson less and less the more he heard. “I’m guessing that never happened?”
“Nope. No one lived nearby, so I had no friends. Jackson was always out working, so I was alone all the time. It was miserable and lonely. Worse even than the days after my accident, the situation Jackson swore he was saving me from.”
Anger spread through him, hot and intense. “I can’t believe he didn’t give you any say in the matter.”
Jeni sighed. “I hated the idea of divorce, especially at such a young age. But his refusal to compromise on anything I wanted, and the fact that I c—” She stopped short, her lips clamping shut. “I just decided I wasn’t doing it anymore.”
Stopping at a red light, Logan turned his gaze on her for a moment. What had she stopped herself from saying?
“The divorce was relatively simple. He wasn’t happy being married to me by that point either, so he didn’t resist.”
Not happy with Jeni? Fucking idiot.
“After that, I moved to Omaha and finished my Master’s degree. Got the job here in Kansas City, and the rest is history.”
Logan absorbed the information. She spoke again after a few moments.
“You’re quiet.”
“I’m processing.”
“Oh.”
“I’m glad you didn’t stay in a situation where you were unhappy. It sounds to me like you did the right thing.”
She nodded. “I think so too.”
“But…”
“But?”
“I think it could be different with someone else.”
“When people get married, someone has to sacrifice something. It’s inevitable. One gets a promotion in another town, and the other one has to quit so they can move. One loses their job, and the other has to pick up a second one to make ends meet. They get married over a mutual love of travel, have one bad flight, and one of them is too scared to fly again. The examples are endless. I just don’t see how it’s possible to pursue my dreams if I’m tied to another person. I’ve had to give up everything I wanted once before, and I’m not doing it again.”
Commitment came with a certain degree of sacrifice, it was true. The concept didn’t scare him, but then again, he’d lived most of his life on the other end of the spectrum with little to no commitment to anything or anyone. She’d had a completely different experience.
But that was his point, wasn’t it? It could be different with him.
“What are these dreams that would be impossible to achieve if you were with me?”
She was quiet for a long moment. “It’s not being with you. It’s being with anyone. Dreams evolve over time. I’m pretty happy with where I’m at right now, but that could change in an instant. The same’s true for you. Surely you have things you want out of life, right? Things you’ve always wished and hoped for and others that hit you out of nowhere, shocking the hell out of you because you hadn’t even known it was something you wanted?”
“Yeah. That last one especially. Her name’s Jeni.”
Her eyes went soft, and she brushed his arm with her fingers. “You’re really sweet, Logan. But I doubt my ability to make you happy—like, the real, bone-deep happiness you deserve.” She took her hand away and pressed it against her heart. “I’m messy in here. Everywhere, actually. I know it sounds like my decisions about dating are all about me. But the more I get to know you and realize how much I like you, the more confident I am it’s not just about me. There would come a day you’d want to move on, and I’m trying to protect both of us from something I know won’t last.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I do though.”
They pulled into the sports complex, and Logan parked at the end of the row. He turned off the ignition and leaned his head back on the headrest, looking at her beautiful, stubborn face. He wanted to touch her. Shake her and kiss her and hold her, all at the same time.
Instead, he simply said, “Thank you for telling me what happened.”
She pinched her lips together and narrowed her eyes. “That’s it?”
