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“That’s a high bar. So, what’s the problem?”
Jeni’s toe pushed them into a slow swinging motion. She focused on the rhythmic movement for a moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“I’m trying to get up in your business, but I guess so.”
Jeni huffed out a single laugh then went serious again. “Why haven’t you ever gotten married?”
“Haven’t met anyone I wanted to marry. Now, back to you. Why are you moping?”
“I have. I thought I wanted to marry Jackson, and look where that got me. Now I’m messed up and broken. Ruined for all relationships forevermore.”
“Are you saying this because you want to marry Logan and don’t know what to do?”
“No. But he’s the first guy I’ve wanted more with since Jackson. And I want to be with him, but I just don’t see the point. I try to be smart with my decisions and not make the same mistake twice.”
“Maybe marriage wasn’t the mistake. Maybe it was who you married.”
Jeni shrugged. “Maybe.”
She said it more for Rhonda’s benefit. Her sister was just trying to help. But the problem hadn’t only been Jackson. It was her too. She knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t work with anyone else.
Especially a man like Logan.
* * *
Jeni:Am I still invited to play tonight?
Logan:We could use you. First game’s at 6:30 and if we win we’ll have one more. See you there.
He wasn’t willing to give her a ride this time. She guessed that was fair.
Jeni locked her phone and tossed it on the couch beside her. Her mom and sisters had gone back to Nebraska two days ago, and the house was quiet. Even though she was relieved to have her solitude back, she’d kind of gotten used to having them, and her mother’s cooking, around.
With her family gone, nothing to do, and no friends to hang out with, she suddenly felt lonely. She needed to make some other friends in Kansas City, but there weren’t any other young, single women at CPS. Sandra was in her sixties, and the others were middle-aged at best.
Jeni thought of Lauren, the pharmacist who’d met with their family during Andrew’s first oncologist visit. She was about Jeni’s age and seemed nice. Lauren had dropped a terrible joke when she stopped by during Andrew’s first chemo visit and popped off a few snarky responses to him too. Seemed like Jeni’s style.
Andrew’s too, if Jeni was judging his reaction to her correctly. He’d watched for Lauren the entirety of his chemo treatment yesterday, Jeni was sure of it. She knew her brother better than anyone else. He was interested. If he started dating Lauren, maybe Jeni could get a friend—or two? Lauren had to know other people around here—out of it too.
There were also two other women on the softball team, who she’d see tonight. They at least had sports in common, and maybe she could try to get to know them a little better.
Except both of them had been pretty flirty with Logan at the game on Tuesday.
On second thought, they didn’t really seem like her type.
Jeni arrived at the ballpark at six-twenty. She sat in her car and pulled her hair into a ponytail before she grabbed her glove and got out. Two of the four fields were lit up, and two teams would play a game on each. The winners of those would move on and play head to head for the season championship.
The stands were dotted with people, though not full by any means. Mostly family and friends who wanted an excuse to drink beer and yell obscenities to the other team. Jeni learned on Tuesday this was no family-friendly league. Logan had apologized at one point for his teammate’s language, but she wasn’t bothered. He should hear the things that came out of her dad’s mouth during calf birthing season.
She was just happy to be playing and in a fairly competitive league, at that. The one she’d played in during her Master’s was a joke. She’d been forced to take her normal game intensity down about five notches, and even then, she’d become the player the other teams warned each other about.
Jeni approached the dugout where the other team members had gathered. Several were talking amongst themselves, two or three to a group. Logan sat on the bench, wearing a hooded sweatshirt over his jersey. He’d take it off before they played, and she’d only have a few minutes to admire him in her favorite article of clothing on a man. His wavy blond hair was slightly disheveled, like he hadn’t taken the time to fix it at all today. His long legs clad in white pants and cleats extended out comfortably in front of him. If it weren’t for the way his brow furrowed a little and his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest, he’d have looked like a guy without a care in the world.
Stacy, an adorable blond woman with long legs and a killer smile, sat about a foot and a half away from him. She said something to Logan, and his expression softened along with his deep laugh.
Jeni’s heart twisted at the sound. She held her glove by her side in one hand and brought the other across her body.
He looked up and saw her and immediately dropped his gaze. He seemed to think better of it and caught her eye again, lifting his hand in a wave. Stacy hadn’t noticed Jeni and leaned across the small space to say something in Logan’s ear, touching his forearm.
