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Jeni stilled. “I have the urge to say ‘that’s what she said,’ but I’m not entirely sure what that means.”
“Me either. Guess we’ll figure it out as we go.”
She moved forward, inch by inch, until her lips were so close he felt her breath against his. “I’m glad you made sure we’re prepared for all scenarios. Even blow off.” She licked his bottom lip.
Some incoherent noise left his throat.
She finally molded her lips to his, putting him out of his misery, and they kissed for several long moments. He’d never tire of her lips or her hands on his face, his shoulders, in his hair.
“This is the best thing ever,” she said when she pulled back a little. “I love gifts that have a purpose. And ones that make beer.”
Logan cupped her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her again. “How many gifts that make beer have you received?”
“This is the first.” She put her weight on one arm and ran the fingers of the other hand lightly through his hair, sending a bolt of electricity down his spine. “I’ve had a lot of firsts with you.”
He swallowed, hard. “I’ve had a lot of firsts with you too.”
She frowned a little and sat beside him. “Really? Like what?”
Logan took her hand. “This will probably sound stupid. But it sort of feels like everything is new. Each time I touch you or kiss you, I feel something I’ve never felt before. I love it when you disagree with me and glare at me, like you’re doing right now. I’ve never met another woman who shares my passion for the foster care community, other than Sandra—and she’s forty years older than me. I love your competitive nature and soft side you try so hard to hide. I miss you when I’m not with you, and that’s never happened to me before.” He held up their entwined hands. “You know what I think it is?”
Jeni twisted her lips to the side. “I’m not sure I want to know.”
“You probably don’t, but I want to tell you anyway.”
“Please. Don’t say it.”
“I’m in love with you.”
She shook her head, her eyes closing. “Don’t. No, you’re not.”
“I am. I can’t help it.” He slid his other hand along her neck, his thumb just below her earlobe. She kept her eyes closed but didn’t pull away from his touch. “I’ve tried to stop, I really have. It didn’t work.” The words clawed their way free, from his heart and past his lips. “I’ll never not love you, Jenifer Bishop.”
“Don’t,” she mouthed, though no sound came out.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth. “You don’t have to say it back. This doesn’t change anything. We’re still taking it one day at a time. There’s no pressure. I just have to say it out loud. It’s killing me not to tell you. You have to know how I feel.”
She opened her eyes, her golden-brown irises searching his face. He wished he could smooth the worry lines between her brows. “Promise?”
“That I love you? Hell yes.”
“No. That nothing will change. That you still want to be with me but you’re okay with the way we’re doing it.”
He wanted to promise her that, but the words lodged in his throat. “Can I ask you a question?”
“No.”
“I know you had a terrible experience with your ex-husband. But hasn’t this time with me shown you—at least a little bit—that no two relationships are the same?”
“Yes.” Her response shocked him, but the look on her face told him she still hadn’t changed her mind. “It’s completely different with you than it was with Jackson. In the best, most wonderful way, and I love being with you. But you know what else I love? The thought that tomorrow, if I wanted to, I could move to France. I could quit, take a road trip to Canada, and go on an adventure. I could adopt six cats, just because I felt like it. I could go vegan and keep nothing in my house except raw vegetables and shelled nuts. When people get married and commit to each other at that level, they lose part of their independence. Maybe even the ability to get what they want out of life.”
“Not if you find someone who loves you just the way you are and accepts those things about you. Not if you find someone who shares the same dreams. Will you ever stop working to improve the lives of children?”
“You know the answer to that.”
“Neither will I. As long as you’re physically able, will you want to play softball?”
She looked away. “Yes.”
