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I shoot up in bed, my eyes wide as I take in my bedroom. As I would expect, the walls aren't shaking. There is no train barreling through my room or outside the house. My window stays shut, but the noise is so loud it echoes, almost like the window is shoved all the way open. All I can see is darkness.
Yet, the train still echoes on.
I slide over the edge of my bed, my bare feet pressing onto the cool floor as I make my way to the window. The trees are dark, a heavy fog lingering in the air. I can barely see beyond the tree line, the gray mist so thick it looks like a movie.
Closing my eyes, the train continues to echo into the distance.
There is no train in Castle Pointe. I think back to the story Hazel told me about—the evil woman who cheated on her husband. About the death by train, and how Castle Pointe was built on top of the tracks.
There are no tracks anymore, but I can certainly hear a train.
A chill runs through me, and I shake out my arms as I walk back to my bed, grabbing my boots from the floor and sliding them onto my feet. I'm fucking terrified… but I have to know.
Zipping them to my ankles, I leave my room, heading toward the other end of the second level and to my mom and Samuel's room. I know they won’t be here, but it doesn’t stop my hope that maybe they slipped into the house without my knowledge.
Knocking on the oversized wooden door, I shout, "Mom?" I pound harder, an urgency filling me, making my legs tremble. I'm scared and tired of dealing with the unease of this town. I wish it would stop, be normal in a sense so I could go back to living an ordinary life. I could maybe even find peace here, if it weren't for all the fucked-up shit that happens on a daily basis.
I grasp the handle, pressing down and opening the door. Only darkness surrounds me, no bodies in the bed, no lights in the room, no noises, no people. Nothing.
I sigh, closing the door and walking back to my side of the house. I pass my room and walk to Malik's. His door is closed, as always. I don't give him the benefit of knocking. I turn the knob, entering his dark room and stopping.
Empty.
"Where the fuck is everyone?" I groan.
His bed is empty, made, unslept in. I am weak enough to admit this isn't the first time I've been in here during the last week. I find myself continuously wandering into his room, hoping to catch a glimpse. Wishing I could find him, just so that I could know he's okay. I need to know he's alright, that his eyes aren't white and his soul isn't destroyed. I need to know.
The sound of the train running through the yard sounds again, this time even louder. I wince, tempted to cover my ears as they start ringing. I rush out of Malik's room, slamming his door shut as I make my way to the stairs. I bounce down them two at a time, my boots echoing against the marbled tile. My hand curls around the banister, my hand sliding around the carved wood at the base of the stairs as I spin around, making my way toward the kitchen.
I race past the dining area and out the back door, into the backyard. The instant chill covers my skin, and I wish I would've brought a sweater, or changed out of my skirt and into a pair of pants. But there's no time.
The sound of the train rumbles through me, and my chest feels tight as my entire rib cage rattles. Wide-eyed, I look around, searching for anything, something that can make this true. I can't be imagining it when I feel it in my bones, right?
How the hell is this happening?
There're no lights, only darkness from here into the distance. Only the smell of damp pine swirls into my nose, and I only feel a hint of mist dotting my skin as it falls from the black sky.
I blink, stepping off the patio and into the grass. It crunches beneath my feet, and the muddy ground wets my boots.
A shaky light bobs in the distance, and I blink, wondering for a moment if I could be imagining it. Who would walk in the night? Not only that, but I believe this is part of our property. Is it Malik? Is someone lost?
"Hello?" I ask, a little too quietly, slightly leery of who may be lingering in the woods at night. But curiosity itches at my skin, and I can't help as my legs pull me into the woods. I keep my feet light, my knee-high socks protecting my legs against the sticks, though my thighs are exposed and damp from the misty rain. My arms prickle with goosebumps, but I don't pay attention to them as I pull branches aside, slipping into the blackness of the night and into the darkness.
The light bobs, further and further away. I pick up my pace, and rush through the trees, following the light at a silent but fast pace. It leads me farther into the forest, and a part of me feels in a trance. I shouldn't be doing this, and my conscience knows this, screaming at me in the back of my mind.
But my mischievous side knows no bounds when it comes to curiosity, and I need to know where the sound of the train and the light are coming from. They have to be connected, and if in any way I can find my way to Malik, I'll suffer those consequences.
Somehow, at some moment in time, the lines blurred between hate and a softer emotion, and what I feel for Malik has become somewhat messy. A child's drawing that isn't quite right, not at all perfect. It's illegible, and that's what my feelings are like when it comes to Malik.
It only becomes messier when the knowledge that we're stepsiblings comes into play. In Fargo, it's unheard of. It's incest, really. We might not be bound by blood, but we are bound by marriage, and that means something.
Even if life turns into some kind of normalcy, what Malik and I have will never be normal. Our relationship is cruel, and we are unconventional. There will never be an us, no matter how bad that sliver of emotion beating in my chest that aches for Malik begs me for that possibility, it just can't happen.
It won’t.
The trees begin to thin out, and soon I reach a clearing. I pause at the tree line, glancing around with wide eyes.
How am I here?
