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"What?" My face scrunches, confused.
They say nothing.
"Are you going to ask about him?" Hazel asks. "Like, at all?"
I frown, leaning back in my chair. "No, I'm not. This has nothing to do with him. I don't miss him; I just miss the place."
They blink.
"I'm being fucking serious!" I scream and shrink down in my seat when a couple glare at me from the next table. I bend down, lowering my voice. "I'm serious. I don't care about him. I've barely even thought about him. I just… I didn't realize how much I loved the place I tried so hard to get away from."
Piper winces. "It's Castle Pointe, babe. You don't realize it's a part of you until it's all of you."
I nod.
"Do you want to come back with us? You don't need to stay in a hotel," Blaire asks.
I shake my head before she's even finished her sentence. No, that's the absolute last thing I need. If there's a chance I may see him, I don't want to go anywhere near Castle Pointe. No matter how badly my heart aches to go back there.I can't.
I won't survive if I see him.
"No, thanks. I actually have a busy day on campus, and I'll probably crash tomorrow night and then I have an early flight the next morning. Otherwise, I would." The lie flows easily off my tongue.
They see right through it.
"Okay. Well, if you have time tomorrow night, we can come have a party at your hotel," Blaire says.
Piper smiles at this. Her grin is pure evil. "Let's get super drunk."
I laugh. "Okay, that I would be okay with."
I toss and turn all night.
By all night, I literally meanallfucking night.
After hanging out with the girls for hours, eventually moving inside the coffee shop to warm up by the fire, we stayed until it closed, talking about life and what we hoped for the future.
Overall, I don't think any of us really know.
We all want to do something, but none of us really know what that is.
I left them with a hug and a promise to see them the next day as I stumbled across the street and into my hotel, my body exhausted and my mind complete mush. But the moment I fell into bed, I couldn't switch off.
I couldn't for the life of me fall asleep.
It got to the point that I turned on YouTube with some mediation music. I even started counting. Nothing worked. I don't know what it was, but my mind was wired.
No, I know exactly what it was.
Him.
At three in the morning, I knew I wouldn't be getting sleep. Not tonight, anyway.
Throwing on a hoodie and my black boots, I swipe my keys off the table and head down to my rental car.
I stayed near campus, and a heavy sigh leaves me as I move away from the crowds. I had the same overwhelming feeling earlier. It felt like I was trapped between waves of people, each one higher than the next. It was hard to breathe or even think with all the people laughing and talking around me.
Don’t get me wrong, the school itself seemed great. It was modern yet had a historical touch. The classes looked nice, and I think I’d really enjoy it here.
