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I glance into the forest, seeing nothing but darkness.
I hate you, too.
23
VERA
"Are you sure you'll be fine?" my mom asks from the doorway.
"I'll be fine," I say from my bed. Turning my head, I glance over and see her all dressed up. Another event. More time away.
More time alone.
"Are you sure?" She steps into the room, walking up to the bed. Glancing down at me, she bends over, curling her fingers around my foot. "You haven't looked good lately. Has everything been okay?"
Now she asks? When she's about to leave for an entire week?
I curl my toes, inching away from her touch. "I don't like it here." A shadow moves in the corner of the room, and I close my eyes.
She frowns at me. "I thought you met a couple girlfriends from school?"
I shake my head. "It's not the people." Besides Malik and his friends. "It's this place."
Stepping back, she runs her hands down her skirt, ironing out the non-existent wrinkles. "Just give it a little more time. I know the environment is different from what you're used to. But I find it a bit… charming, or peaceful, out here."
I want to laugh and scream. It's neither of those things. If only she would open her eyes.
"Samuel is going with you?" My new stepdad keeps himself busy with work, and I've rarely seen him. He's just as dedicated to work as my mom is. Between the both of them, I have this mansion to myself most of the time. Malik has even been keeping himself away lately.
It's only me. And the dead.
"He will. But I'll have my phone if you need me, and I should be back next Sunday in the early afternoon. Maybe we can do something later in the day?"
I hear a creak above me, coming from the attic. I glance up, hearing footsteps. "Do you hear that?"
She glances up, frowning. "It's just a draft, Vera." She sighs, frowning at me. "Maybe if you wouldn't go to sleep watching horror movies all the time, you wouldn't be so freaked out about everything."
I roll over, giving her my back. "Have a good trip."
I can feel her staring at me, a mix between aggravation and sadness burning in the back of my skull. "I love you, Vera."
"Love you." My eyes burn, and I squeeze them shut.
If she loved me like she says she does, why isn't she listening to me? I think the only thing that matters to her these days are work and Samuel. Everything else she's just shoved on the back burner. Something she says to herself she'll deal with another day.
But that day never comes.
Her heels clack on the floor as she heads downstairs, and after a moment, the front door shuts.
It's just me.
I drop my hand to the ground, swiping my bag off the floor and pulling out my pack of cigarettes. Lighting one up, I don't even bother to go to the window. Everyone can fuck off at this point. If I'm going crazy, I might as well act like it.
I shouldn’t smoke. It’s terrible for my health. The doctors have warned against it over and over, but when life feels like it’s closing in on me and there’s no one around to help, what do I turn to?
My cigarettes are the only thing keeping me sane.
The cigarette burns, and I close my eyes as I take a drag. They pop open once the ceiling creaks, and I glance up when I notice the constant shadows flitting across my room. They make my heart race, and I drop my cigarette into my cup of water on my nightstand. I grab my phone and headphones from my bag and blare Scary Kids Scaring Kids. Sliding beneath my blanket, I curl it over my head, relishing in the dark and the silence from the dead.
