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“See you later, cousin,” Atticus says, then his brows furrow. “Is that right? Are we cousins?”
I shiver, because it still feels weird to think of Atticus, Levi, and Malik as relatives.
Malik grabs Levi’s shirt, pulling him out of the room. “We’ll be back,” he clips, shutting the door behind him.
Vera sighs, shaking her head as she sits on the chair, pulling it up to the bed. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says, her hand curling around my sheets. I know she wants to grab at me, but I also know there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t hurt.
“Will you tell me about it? What happened?” I ask after a moment.
They nod, and walking toward the bed, they take turns telling me the story from last week. It surprised me that it’s been this long, but it has. From the moment I was ripped away from them, to the moment I was put in my mom’s car to bring me to the hospital, they tell me every gruesome detail.
By the end, my eyes are watering, and Piper grabs a Kleenex, blotting my eyes for me.
“He stayed here the entire time?” I whisper, talking of Felix, who even they say hasn’t left the hospital.
“Until now,” Blaire grumbles.
Vera snaps a glare her way.
“What?” I ask.
Vera shakes her head slowly. “Felix hasn’t spoken to anyone. He refused to leave with Malik, hasn’t been to work at all. He stayed here, and when I saystayed here, I mean sat in your room in that uncomfortable fucking chair. Wouldn’t say a word to anyone. But then you wake up, and he calls Malik and tells us to come here because he’s fucking leaving. Like,what?That asshole makes zero sense.”
I nervously chew on my bottom lip, which is already split from dehydration. Blood coats my tongue as I break the skin, and I suck my lip into my mouth to clean it off. “I don’t know why he stayed. He was so mean to me before everything happened. He hated me,” I mumble under my breath.
“That’s what you think, but you didn’t see how he was acting when you were hurt. The look on his face…” Blaire says, shaking her head.
“How was that?” I ask.
They’re all silent, and I see the odd glance that passes between them.
“Spit it the fuck out, Blaire,” I snap.
“Like he… like he loves you,” Piper blurts out. “The only explanation that can come to my mind is that Felix is absolutely in love with you.”
My heart pounds in my chest so erratically the machine beside me picks up, the beeping growing louder as it quickens, and it doesn’t stop my nerves. I can feel sweat line my hospital gown, even in this cold room, and I want to wipe it away, but I’m basically shackled to this bed without the ability to move an inch.
“He doesn’t,” I whisper. There’s no way. Felix doesn’t love me. He… still hates me. He despises me. He told me he did. He kicked me from his house. The look in his eyes was one of absolute disgust. He doesn’t love me. He can’t.
Because if he did, then everything would change, and the split in my broken heart would be for nothing.
I can’t get my hopes up about a simple feeling from my friends. It was a rough night. He could have looked that way for a variety of reasons, and none of them, the last one in the world, would be love.
My heart begins to settle, and I lay my head back on the pillow, my eyelids suddenly growing heavy.
“He can’t love me,” I whisper, darkness entering my vision.
“Why not?” Vera asks.
“Because what we have is too painful to be considered love.”
Just as I’m drifting off to sleep, Vera’s voice cracks through my consciousness. “There’s nothing more painful than love, Hazel. That’s the beauty of it, and the ugly.”
“It was fun, Hazel. We’ll see you in a week for your follow-up,” the nurse says, holding on to the empty wheelchair in front of my mom’s car.
I wave to her with my free hand, my body aching with discomfort as my mom pulls my seat belt across my hips. I haven’t moved this much in two weeks, and I’ve barely moved at all. Just a shift from the wheelchair when I was getting into my mom’s car was enough to make me want to sleep the rest of the day.
“Thanks, Darlene. See you next week,” my mom says, and then the nurse shuts the door, giving us one last wave.
