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And why I want it with Hazel, of all people.
Becausefucking fate.
I swallow down my drink and pour another, grabbing a second tumbler for Malik and pouring a generous amount for him as well.
It isn’t long until the front door unlocks, and Malik’s silent footsteps stride down the hall.
He sees me in the kitchen, my elbows on the counter, my glass basically swallowing my face as I stare at the bottom, now absent of all liquor.
I listen as his drink slides across the counter, and I see Malik lift it to his lips. “What the fuck is going on, Felix? We haven’t heard from you in over two weeks.”
I lift my eyes to his. “Been dealing with shit.”
Silence ensues as he gives me a blank glare, his dark features so similar to mine, both of us watching each other. He’s waiting for me to give him more, and I’m waiting for him to give me shit for my bullshit response.
“We work together, which you’ve been MIA for, by the way. And we’re the same family, so I know your dad has been out of the country for the last month with Atticus’s and Levi’s dad. It has nothing to do with that. What other shit do you have to deal with, Felix?There’s nothing else.”
Shit. He’s got me there.
I click my jaw together, my molars grinding. “You’ve been through shit, Malik, and we let you take time to fucking contemplate. Can’t I do the same?”
He lifts a brow. “Of course, but you knew it was Vera that had me twisted. What the fuck is twisting you?”
I stare at him. “You know.”
He lifts his tumbler to his lips, swallowing the remaining liquor, his eyes spearing me through the bottom of the thick glass. “I do, but I need you to fucking speak the words.”
My hand slides out, grabbing the bottle and pouring some more amber liquid into my glass. “Hazel.” I say the word simply, her name both a bullet and a fucking butterfly. Beautiful and deadly.
My little witch.
“So what, did you come to some type of conclusion? ’Cause I’m telling you, bro, I’m not covering the slack of your side of the business while you sit and get fucked up by the pool.”
I tip my tumbler back, the burn no longer a burn, but a smooth, warm coating down my throat. “I’ve come to no conclusion, Malik,” I grunt.
He’s silent as he straightens up, his hand going into his pocket. “So, what the fuck do you need?” His voice is sharp, angry, and I cut him a glare, fucking pissed that he can’t see the struggle I’m going through.
I take a breath, blinking at him with my muscles coiled tight, feeling like if I don’t give him a truth, he’ll leave without a word. Malik doesn’t deal with nonsense, and usually, I’m the same way. “I don’t know what to do, dude. How the fuck did you deal?”
“Deal with what?” he asks slowly.
“Fucking Vera, dude. How do you drop that… that fucking wall we’ve always built to let someone else in?”
He furrows his brows, as if it’s a stupid damn question. “I broke down no walls, Felix. Vera broke them down for me.”
I push off the edge of the counter, standing up straight to match his stance. My hand goes to my bare chest, rubbing at the constant ache of pain. I get what he means, because it’s like my hate has disappeared. I’m still angry with her; I still want to play my games, but I want to play them with her as mine. I want her to be my toy, and no one else’s. I don’t want a mark on her skin unless I’m the one that caused it.
Has she already broken my walls down for me?
“How do you know if it’s right?” My head whips to his. “We’re the same, Malik. We’ve always been the same. We’ve never really done the girlfriend thing. It’s been a slip between the legs and a pat on the ass as they walk away. How is it that you can just flip with no hesitation? How do you know?”
An evil smirk lifts his lips, and I run my fingers through my hair, waiting, anticipating, desperate for his fucking response.
“You fucking ache right here?” He taps his chest with two fingers.
I clench my jaw, nodding.
“You fucked here?” His fingers go to his skull, and he gives two taps.
