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Gross.
It suddenly feels like my nightmare when I swallowed sand. It’s difficult to swallow, my tongue feeling swollen and my eyes growing wet. Everyone around me grows blurry.
“Here,” I garble, passing the jump rope back to Nora.
Gross.
“Wait, Luna,” Nora’s voice is panicked.
I shake my head, walking around her and running home. The wind brushes my face and trails my tears along my temples.
“Luna!” Roman shouts at me.
I don’t answer him. I don’t turn around. I only stare at my small brown house as Roman’s five letter word plays like a skipping record in my head.
Gross, gross, gross, gross.
“I’m telling Mom!” Nora shouts at Roman. That’s the last thing I hear before I shut my front door. I leave everyone outside, but somehow, Roman’s voice grating out the wordgrosshas already curled around my heart.
My knees dig into my rough carpet as I kneel by my window, staring out at the lake. It’s a little breezy this evening, the water crashing against the shore louder than normal. My sheer curtains billow in the wind around me. If I were to look over my shoulder, I bet they would look like a cape on my back. Like I’m flying in the sky.
My elbows press into my windowsill, my chin sitting in my palms.
I’ve been in my room since I ran inside earlier. My parents came to check on me, wanting me to come eat dinner with them. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk, and I’m not hungry in the slightest. My mom could tell something was wrong, but I didn’t feel like talking about it.
My best friend thinks I’m gross.
I don’t want to cry over him, but it hurt me when he said those words. I would never say anything bad about him, but he was so quick to call me a name to his friends.
The sun has set over the lake, the reflection of the moon distorted, moving against the water. I watch it wiggle and dance, shimmering and effortless, with my heart heavy and possibly a bit empty.
A shadow creeps along my house, and I can tell who it is before I see him. I’m about to shut my windows but my arms won’t let me. I stare until he appears, standing on the outside of my house, as I stay kneeling on the inside. Roman looks sad, remorseful, and like I’m the one that said gross instead of him.
How can he be sad?
“What do you want?” I grumble, flicking my eyes back to the water. I don’t want Roman’s fake friendship. If he wants to be my friend, okay. But if he’s going to pretend and then be a bully to me the next day, I don’t want to be friends with him at all.
“I’m sorry,” he groans, and my eyes can’t help but slide up to his. Underneath his eyes, they look red, almost bruised as he stares at me. His mouth is pulled down in a frown. “I’m so sorry, Luna. My friends are stupid.”
I blink at him.
“I’m stupid. I never should have agreed to ride my bike or let them ride their bikes right next to you. That was really dumb. You could’ve gotten hurt.”
I blink again.
He blinks back at me. “What am I missing?”
“You called me gross!” I shout at him, my anger from the day flowing out of me like the waves at the beach. “You called megross!” I repeat, slapping my windowsill as tears fill my eyes this time. “How could you do that?”
His frown pulls even lower. “I didn’t mean it.”
“But you said it,” I sniffle.
His hands shoot through my window, gripping onto my forearms. “I didn’t mean it. It’s not what you think.”
I rip my arms from his hold. “What did you mean then? Your friends asked if you like me, and you said I’mgross.”
“They meant if Iliked you, liked you. Like more than a friend.”
