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He crawls onto the bed, lifting me from beneath the sheets and settling me on his lap. My legs hang over the side of his waist, my arms curl around his neck. His fingers bury into my hair, his head dropping to my naked neck. He kisses where my necklace once lay, and more tears fall. I lean forward, my nose dropping to his brown locks.
His lips sink into my skin, warm and plump and so damn loving. "I'll buy you another. I'll buy you all the ballerina necklaces in the world."
I frown. "I don't want another necklace. They won't be the same."
His head lifts, his red-rimmed eyes connecting with mine. "What can I do then? What do you want?"
My fingers go to his sharp jaw, dancing along his stubbled cheek. Such a man, now. So much different than he used to be. But so much the same. My Roman is still inside this body. My heart still feels at home when I'm with him. We're grown, but we're exactly where we need to be. "I only need you. I only want you."
His gaze drops to my lips, and it only takes him a second. A flicker of indecision on his face before he leans forward, trapping my lips between his. My tears start all over again, falling onto his face and running between our lips. He leans back, licking my salty kisses from his mouth then comes back toward me, taking my lips again in a greedy kiss.
It's like coming home.
My chest hiccups with emotion, and I can't do anything besides cry into his mouth. My insides burn, it feels like I'm floating and finally being grounded all at once. There's nothing better than the tingling in my fingers, than my heart pumping so heavily, it feels like it’s expanding throughout my entire ribcage. My body warms, and all the hesitations in my life clear.
The only thing I know, is that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
"Roman…" I mumble against his lips.
He peels away from my lips, looking up at me. "What is it?" There's a worry in his eyes, his brown irises flickering with concern.
My palm runs along his stubble. "I love you. I love you so fucking much."
His chest stops, his jaw grinding as emotion takes over. His nostrils flare, and I watch as he rolls the words over his tongue for a moment, thinking of what to say.
The waiting stabs my chest.
"I love you, Luna. I told you years ago that I'd love you forever. I'll tell you now that I'll love you forever. Every inch, every piece, every breath. I don't care what you've done. I don't care what you do. My soul is your soul. Your soul is mine. Our love is our love, and distance, time, and mistakes aren't going to change that. True love doesn't fracture with time, because the moment the love comes together again, it's only stronger. That's us, Luna. Our love can withhold anything. I knew it when I was seven, I'll know it when I’m eighty. I fucking love you, Luna. Now and always."
"Now and always," I say through my tears. With a breath, I climb back on the bed and curl under the sheets. "Will you tell me about your time? What you did while I was away? Do you play anymore? How are the guys?"
He flicks his pick back and forth over his fingers. Like his fingers are the strings on his guitar. "We broke up almost three years ago, actually. The guys are good, though. Lonnie lives out in San Diego at our old condo. Flynn and Clyde are back in Wisconsin. Haven't talked to them for a few months."
"Why did you break up?"
He shakes his head. "Didn't you hear?"
I bite my lip. "I did my best to stay away from the media. I-I didn't know what I'd find. Plus, it's kind of hard to come by a TV when you live on the beach."
He frowns, scratching at his jaw. "I, uh, I was in a pretty bad place in the end. I was using, and shit just got really bad. I actually broke my guitar on stage. That was pretty much my lowest point." He looks embarrassed, like he should be ashamed for his actions.
"Why were you in a bad place?" I ask, my chest growing heavier by the moment.
He looks at me, sadness and grief in his eyes. "Is that even a question? Isn't it obvious? My mind, my heart, everything was fucking ruined because I didn't have you. I didn't know where you were. I had no idea if you were even okay or alive. I-I wrote you so many fucking emails, Luna. Why didn't you respond to any of them? Did you not see them? Not once?"
I shake my head, confused. "No, I didn't get any emails." Realization hits me. "I forgot the password for my loolooluna email, and I had to make a new one." He looks a little sad by that fact, but also a little relieved. "Why? Did you send a lot of emails?"
He cringes. "You don't want to know. There were a lot of bad nights that I was waiting for your reply. Probably for the best that you can't read them."
I think back to how dark I got at some points, wondering how deep his darkness became. If his hurt ran as deeply as mine did. By the sounds of it, the pain in my soul was similar to his. Our aches ran to our bones, and this is only the beginning of our healing.
"So, if the band broke up, what do you do now?"
A pride lights up his face at this, one that I haven't seen for many years. "I work at FDNY as a firefighter."
My eyes widen, and I almost want to laugh. "You're a firefighter now? Never saw that one coming."
He shrugs. "When I was in treatment, that was the only thing that seemed interesting at the time. Helping others, I guess."
