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I swallow and relax myself enough to speak. It’s fucking difficult when it’s more than just a few words. When I need to go and speak an entire conversation, it’s like my body needs to prepare for it, otherwise no words will even come out.
“I don’t care about any of that. It really doesn’t matter, because we’ll figure it all out. I do have something to talk to you about…” I swallow and give her a look. “How are you sure it’s mine and not Logan’s?”
Her face pales, then turns beet red. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No.”
“I wouldn’t tell you that the kid is yours if it isn’t yours!” She screams an inch away from my face.
I grab her by the shoulders and push her against the back of the couch, moving with her and getting an inch away from her face this time. “How the fuck do you know, though?” I grit through my teeth.
I feel a gust of wind and then a stinging in my cheek. My eyes go wide and I bare my teeth.
The bitch slapped me.
“If I say the baby is yours, the baby is fuckingyours! I got my fucking period the day Logan died, okay? But I haven’t had it since we had sex.”
A part of me is still apprehensive about the situation. Could it still be Logan’s? But I don’t want to argue with a pregnant girl. And to be honest, I don’t have a fuckin’ clue about women and pregnancies and all that girl shit.
“Okay.” I say.
All I can hope is that when this child pops out of her, it doesn’t have Logan’s blonde ass hair.
“I’ve made an appointment with an adoption agency.”
And my anger fires back up again.
“No, you’re not.”
She stands up and looks down at me, pointing her finger straight in my face. “If you’re going to sit here and tell me what I can and cannot do with my baby, you can get the fuck out, Jackson. I wanted your help when you found out. I’m not asking for it now.”
“So, it’sourbaby when it suits you, but then it’salsoyourbaby when it suits you. Yeah, real fair.” I scoff and stand up. “You know what, Cara, I’m leaving. But just know that you are not giving my fucking child up for adoption. Not over my dead fucking body.” As much as I want to stay right now, we get too worked up around each other. I have to be careful around her now because she’s pregnant.
“Jackson, please don’t walk away like this!” She runs in front of the door and puts her arms up to block my exit.
Leave or go? She can’t make up her mind.
I look down at her and melt. Her five one to my six four. There’s something about her tiny self with her big eyes staring at me withthat lookthat makes me crumble.
“Come ‘ere.” I grab onto her bicep and haul her to me. I smoosh her to my chest and wrap my arms around her waist.
She curls into me like she wants to burrow inside of me. I run my hands up and down her back. I think more than anything, I just want this girl to be happy. Seeing her like this is tearing me apart, and I think if I walked away from her crying and pregnant, Logan would dig out of his grave and fucking kill me.
She turns away from me, and my hand glides from her side to her front. She’s a tiny little thing, so when my hand runs over a slight bump, it makes me pause.
I grab her forearm, reaching forward with my other hand and placing it over her stomach. A lump forms in my throat when I think about a tiny human growing inside of her. It’s only a slight, barely noticeable bump. Not something anyone would notice. I notice because I’ve felt her flat stomach enough times to know that what’s happening right now—this baby—is the real deal.
“Please don’t give this baby up.” I whisper, fingers curling around her stomach. I feel connected to it already, and I’m not sure if it’s because I know it’s my child or if I fear it may be my best friend’s child, but I want to protect it either way.
And I will.
Cara wraps his small fingers around my long ones, holding them tight. “Jax… I can’t. Please understand, I can’t have this baby.”
I rip my hands out of hers. I can’t take this. I want to rage and rip this house apart. I can’t very well do that with her in here. Opening the door, I say, “I need to get out of here.”
“Jackson…” Cara starts.
I hold up my hand and shake my head. “I’ll talk to you later.”
