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They bring us to the front sitting room where there’s a couch and two sitting chairs surrounding a coffee table with cookies and what I think is lemonade in an oversized pitcher.

Seriously, is this family for real?

I glance back at Jackson, hoping he can crack a smile when he sees how ridiculously hard there trying to make this perfect, but of course, Jackson is one again wearing his poker face. He doesn’t even glance at me, instead keeping his focus on Colton and Amanda.

“Please, take a seat. Would either of you like cookies or lemonade? Both are made fresh from this morning.”

“I’ll take a cookie.” I say out of politeness.

“And what about you, Jackson?” Amanda says, pouring a glass of lemonade.

I take a bite of the soft cookie and look over at Jackson. He’s staring at Colton and Colton is staring right back. It’s almost like they’re in the middle of some internal battle that I’m not privy to.

“Jackson?” I nudge him with my elbow, and he snaps his gaze to Amanda.

“No.” He utters.

I sit back in my chair and stuff my face with the cookie. It’s delicious, but I also need to fill my mouth to stop from snapping off. I would’ve rather him not even come if he’s just going to sit here and be rude to the both of them.

We sit there and eat cookies and sip lemonade for a few minutes, awkwardly staring at each other and trying to work through the tension. At least I am, hoping that we can all loosen up. I’m not sure what they’re thinking. Maybe they can’t wait until we leave, so they can call the entire thing off.

“Beautiful home.” I say, now worried they won’t want to be the adoptive parents now that they’ve seen what a train wreck we are. “How long have you lived here?”

“Oh, boy. How long has it been, Colton? Maybe about six years now?” She brushes her hand down his arm and he looks down at her with adoration.

“Almost seven.” He says with a smile.

“Yes, that sounds about right. It’s been wonderful. The neighborhood is nice. We have a really wonderful elementary school nearby. Such a lovely area.” She says.

“So,” I start. “You’re a professor,” I point to Colton, “and you’re a bakery store owner?” They both nod at me. “What are you planning to do for daycare? Are you going to have enough time between all that work to take care of a baby?”

Worry lines form around Amanda’s eyes. “Yes, there will be plenty of time. We’ve actually been talking, and I think it’ll be best if I take a year off that first year to spend time with the baby.”

“What about after that?” That’s great for the time being, but what about after? There will be a lot of years before the baby goes to school that it will need full time care.

“Well, my mom lives nearby, and she recently retired. We’ve discussed her coming over during the day while we’re working. If that doesn’t work out, there’s a wonderful daycare center in town.”

I nod, not really sure how I feel about my baby going to a daycare center. But what do I know? And what is my other choice? It doesn’t matter what family I choose; the baby will have to go to some sort of daycare. My only option is to find a stay at home mom, and I didn’t see any of those in the adoption papers.

Colton stares at me. “I see you hesitating. Is something the matter?”

“N-no. I think you guys would be great parents.”

Amanda tears up at that. Colton grabs onto her hands and gives me a grateful look. “Thank you for saying that. That means a lot.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be emotional. It’s just… we’ve been trying for so long.” Amanda grabs a tissue and wipes her eyes. “We started trying to have a baby about five years ago. We tried for two years before going to a specialist. We tried everything, nothing worked. Finally, last year we decided to try for adoption. You’re the first person who has shown interest, and I can’t tell you how much it means to us. We will do everything in our power to give the baby the best life possible. That, I promise you.”

“Wow.” I say, my own eyes filling with tears. I see the both of them in a whole new light. This isn’t something they’re doing to prove a point, or just because they don’t want to go through the stresses of pregnancy or whatever. They’ve legitimately tried every avenue and from the look their eyes, they are desperate to be parents.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to turn into a blubbering mess. I’ve actually been really excited. Colton’s had to tell me off from buying baby things. He’s saying it’s too early. That you still might change your mind or maybe not want to pick us after meeting us. I’m just really excited.” Her eyes are hurricanes of emotions. Excitement and nervousness battle over each other and I know she’s been a wreck.

It only makes me feel even more conflicted.

“You don’t need to be worried about me changing my mind. Where I live—where we live—isn’t a good place to raise a baby. I don’t have anything to offer it. I don’t have a job or anything. I barely graduated high school. This is for the best.” I choke up at the end and have to swallow down the lump in my throat to stop from crying.

I look over at Jackson, and he’s staring at me. Poker face is gone and in its place is frustration. I know that he knows this is the right thing to do. He just doesn’t want it to be true.

“Oh my, you have no idea how much that means to me. I promise you, Cara, we’ll do right by this child.”

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