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“That’s terrible.”
I nod. “I thought everything was going to change when we moved to Minnesota. I was hoping things would go back to normal—or as close to it—as we could find. Things didn’t really get better though. My dad ended up getting my mom hooked on some pretty rough shit. She was basically a zombie once we moved here. My dad would still hit her, but I think he preferred when she was just so fucked up he didn’t have to deal with her.”
“What about you? Did he stop hurting you?”
I laugh. It’s bitter and filled with anger. “No. Not really. Maybe less often, sometimes. He just became smarter. Only hitting beneath the clothes. Places that wouldn’t do any serious damage or cause questions. He’s a smart fuck, that’s for sure.”
“I’m so sorry.” Cara cries in my arms, and I wrap my free arm around her and kiss her head.
“I went home tonight, and I saw my mom in her usual spot. Drugs on the table and passed out. Except I noticed when I was cleaning shit up, she wasn’t even breathing. She overdosed. I called my dad, and when he got home, he just lost his shit on me. He hasn’t hit me in the face since I was a little kid.” I shake my head. “When he was done, he told me to get out so he could clean up the mess.” I swallow the lump in my throat and chuckle. “So here I am.”
Cara sniffles, wiping her face even though the tears keep coming. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I mean… I think we all suspectedsomething, but never really knew. Does anyone else know? Easton?”
I shake my head. The thought of everyone knowing my business makes me tense up. “No. Don’t say anything, either. Not even to Rose.”
“I won’t. I wouldn’t do that… not to you.”
I sigh and sit up, groaning when my head starts pounding. “There’s more, though. I wanted to talk to you about earlier, everything we’ve been though… I know shit is hard, Cara. I know having this baby is completely unconventional and probably not the best decision in many aspects. I’m telling you, when you first told me you were pregnant, I was raging mad. I never wanted a child because of what happened to Wren. That, and what if I end up like some kind of a psycho like my dad? I’d fucking kill myself.”
“You wouldn’t. You could never be like him.” She says it with such certainty. So much confidence in me, it makes something heal in me.Something. I don’t know what.
“You don’t know that.” I shake my head. “But when I saw youactually pregnant, something switched in me. Some switch flipped, and suddenly all I could think about was being a father. I get why you want to give the baby up, I do. But this baby is a second chance for me. I don’t want you to give me an answer right now. But can you just think about it? Can you really think about it for a little bit before you make your final answer?”
She stares at me for so long I feel like she’ll say no. Then she surprises me. “Yes.” She leans in, kissing an unbeaten spot on my cheek. “I’ll think about it.”
I grab her hands and pull her towards me. “Something about you, Cara. There’s just something about you.”
She smiles at me. “I’m a pain in your ass?”
“Fuck, among other things. But seriously, maybe it’s the wrong thing to do, but I don’t want to fuck around with this shit anymore. I’m tired of the ups and downs and all the back and forth between us. I miss Logan, and I would give my life up for him to come and be with you. I know that’s the one you want to be with, and I know you guys would’ve been something special. But… I hope that if he wanted you to be with anyone else, it would be me. I want to make my brother proud.”
“So, what’re you saying?” She bites her lip.
“I’m sayin’, I want you to be my fuckin’ girlfriend, Cara.”
She stares at me, eyes wide and in shock. “Are you serious?”
“Are you gonna fuckin’ answer?”
She laughs. “Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.” She runs a hand down her face. “Holy shit, I’m Jackson Shaw’s girlfriend. Rose is going to freak.”
I shake my head at the girl in front of me. Not in a million years did I think we would ever be together. Even the first night we slept together, and the times after that, did I ever think we would grow into something like this. We have a shit load of stuff to sort through, but maybe we can do it in one piece.
Hopefully
20
Jackson
Age Sixteen
“No, no, no! Fuck!”Easton roars, chucking the controller into the couch. It bounces off and rolls to the ground in a pathetic escape.
I take a hit of the blunt we’re passing around and hand it off to Logan.
“That shit was brutal.” Logan chuckles, earning a glare from Easton.
“Fucking Kilimanjaro in Halo and I get sniped. This game fucking sucks.” Easton rips the blunt out of Logan’s offered hand and takes a hit. “I don’t know how you keep talking me into playing this shit.”
