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He can’t walk.
The words echo through my mind like I’m in space and they continuously orbit around me. My body starts trembling as the realization that something is very, very wrong with Jackson.
“He’s paralyzed?” I whisper.
Rose nods, tears pooling in her eyes. “He’s been through countless surgeries. They’ve tried to repair everything they can. Tried to get it so he can walk again… they just can’t… he can’t walk, Cara.”
The machine next to me starts beeping like crazy, and I suddenly can’t get a full breath.
I’m going to be taking care of this baby all alone. Jackson won’t be able to do anything. Will I have to take care of Jackson, too? How am I ever going to survive? Sending Colton and Amanda away was the wrong choice. Fuck, I’m so fucked.
“I-I can’t breathe.” I panic.
Rose’s eyes go wide as she stands up. “You’re having a panic attack. Try to breathe!”
“I can’t.” I choke, the noise of the machines making things worse. I can only breathe in a quarter of the way before I can’t breathe anymore. Rose’s voice yells at me but I can’t hear the words, her voice sounding like it’s coming through a tunnel.
I watch as a nurse rushes in here and speaks to me, but I can only watch as her lips move and she messes around on the machine next to me.
I feel myself go lightheaded and I slide onto my back and scratch at my throat. It’s like a pair of hands are around my neck and squeezing with all their might. It’s the most painful, uncomfortable feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I watch as the nurse injects something into my IV, and not even a minute later the beeping slows down, followed by my heart.
Slowly, I can take bigger breaths with each inhale.
“You gave us quite a scare, there. Try and take a few deep breaths. I didn’t even know you were awake.” The nurse gives Rose a look. “Next time, please let one of us know.”
Rose narrows her eyes at her, and if my body wasn’t completely numb, I might crack a smile.
“I feel funny.” I slur.
“I gave you a bit of a sedative to relax. You might get a bit drowsy, but that’s normal. Just relax.”
“But I want to go see Jackson.” I look at Rose with heavy-lidded eyes.
“We’ll talk about it when you wake up.” She reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze. My gaze grows blurry as Rose and the nurse turn into colorful blobs. I want to argue. I want to fight, but I can’t. My body melts into the mattress beneath me and my mind turns cloudy.
I don’t want to sleep.
I need to go see Jackson.
“Everything is going to be just fine.” The nurse murmurs.
No, I really don’t think it is.
