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No one.
I limp my way down the stairs. The party is long over. I pass no one as I make my way out the door and to my hut. At least I don’t see anyone. There are likely guards who are not even batting an eye at my battered form, but they’ve seen it before. This is nothing new. They know the monster and keep him safe in his castle.
I nearly sigh in relief as I walk up to my house. Slipping inside, I drop my clothes and shoes inside the door. I hope they are gone by the time I wake up. Burned and tossed in the garbage.
I crawl underneath my cool sheets, close my eyes, and wait for sleep to take me.
It doesn’t.
I toss and turn all night, pain keeping my body and mind awake and thinking maybe it’s time sleepnottake me.
Maybe death should instead.
* * *
“Mommy?”
I crack my eyes open, barely feeling conscious as a miniature body crawls on top of me.
“Mommy, you have owie?” Tiny hands press against my face, and I cringe when my body thumps in pain.
“I’m okay.” I groan and look up, wondering how she got in here. Ms. Maria stands in the doorway with a painful grin on her face.
“Mr. Fernandez says to let you rest today. I thought I would let you spend the day with Lilah, unless you weren’t feeling up to it?” She looks unsure, like she wants to grab Lilah and bolt back to the main house.
I wrap my arm around her tiny form and press her against me, even when the pain intensifies. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
She nods, walking out the door and closing it quietly behind her, the hinges squeaking in protest.
Maybe my little hut wants me to be free of this place, too.
“Mommy, you sick?” She wiggles out of my hold and looks at me again. A heavy frown sits on her face like she wants to start crying.
I hold my breath as I sit up, bringing the blanket with me to cover the wounds on my chest. “No, Lilah. I’m not sick. If you give me a minute, we can go sit outside for a bit if you’d like.”
“Yeah! Can we go to the flowers?” She forgets about my appearance as she slides to the ground and starts bouncing on her feet.
“Great, why don’t you go color for a few minutes while I get ready?” I nod towards her box of toys and breathe a sigh of relief when she turns her back towards me. I avoid all mirrors, too scared to see what I look like. I’m afraid if I saw how bad I looked; the pain might intensify. I’d rather forget about it all together. Hopefully the pain will go with it.
I walk over to the dresser and grab some leggings and an oversized long sleeve. I’ll melt in the Mexico heat, but I’m in no mood to deal with the double glances or stares today from the grounds people.
“Ready?” I ask as I slip on a pair of flip flops.
“Yeah!” Lilah runs to the door, forgetting her toys in a pile on the ground as she runs outside. She darts straight to the garden, pressing her nose against the bright red roses and smelling them. I smile and walk to the bench that sits in the shade. The gardener is working nearby, pruning the bushes. I wave to him, and Lilah is quick to make conversation. All of the workers here adore Lilah. She’s the princess in this jail, after all. The daughter of the ruler of this land.
This will all be hers someday.
It makes me sick just thinking about it.
I watch Lilah for a while as she follows the gardener. When she gets bored of that, I watch as she sprints over to the tire swing. She plops down onto her stomach and I nearly get nauseous watching her spin in circles.
She giggles, and I stand up. “Slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick.” She doesn’t listen, of course. “Slow down, Lilah.” She hops off at my tone, and instantly falls on her butt. “See?” She giggles, and I break down and chuckle with her “I’m going to go potty quick. I’ll be right back. Quit spinning so fast.”
She nods at me, diving back onto the tire swing and I watch as it starts spinning again.
“Fucking hell.” It hurts as I walk, but I make it back into the house to use the bathroom.
Bang. Bang.
