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“Well, I guess we’re going to play outside then.”
10
Ivy
Iwake up feeling more rested than I can ever remember. I stretch out, cracking my neck and expecting the door to open and Ms. Maria to come bustling in at any moment.
She doesn’t, though.
And it’s not the cool sheets I feel against my skin, it’s the hot, heavy comforter that snaps me out of my fog. I sit up, looking around as I try to remember where I am.
It’s not the clean emptiness of my little hut in Mexico that I smell. It’s worn, used, and intoxication man swirling around me. It’s a little smoky, like someone has laid in bed and smoked. Lazy, mysterious, bad. I want to burrow inside the sheets and never come out.
Memories flood back, and a panic attack almost takes hold in my chest. I look next to me and see the tiny indent where Lilah’s head laid on the pillow last night. There’s no head there now, though, and there’s no Lilah, either.
“Lilah?” I slip out of bed and rush to the bathroom. “Lilah?” I pull open the shower curtain. “Lilah!” I shout, tears instantly flooding my face and sliding down my cheeks. “Where are you?” Horrible, awful thoughts come to mind on where she could possibly be. Someone stole her, or she wandered off and got lost. Or worst of all, Santiago somehow broke in here during the night and kidnapped her. “Lilah!” I run to the window and her name gets stuck in my throat, the pounding of my heart stopping off beat and thudding through my ribcage and into my stomach. I can feel the pulse in my feet as they dig into the carpet, questions and nerves and relief swirl through me as I look at the scene in front of me.
Aziel sits on a picnic bench in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt, and his hat flipped backwards. Strands of hair poke out on the sides, his messy brown hair hidden underneath his cap. He looks like the biggest badass in the world, lounging back with his legs spread and his elbows up on the top of the table behind him. Then there’s the dandelions piled in his lap. Lilah races back and forth from the grass—if you can call it that, it’s more dirt and weeds—pulling a stray dandelion, running back to Aziel, and dropping it in his lap. Back and forth she goes, still wearing that t-shirt of his, only its tied around the bottom of her legs. She looks ridiculous, but Aziel doesn’t seem to mind. He smirks at her every so often, making a comment towards her. I stare at him as a dimple pops out in his cheek.
Fucking hell.
Mom instincts flood me, and I bust from the room, half expecting to see the kid that was blocking my exit from the night before. He isn’t there though. The hallway is clear, and I bolt down the stairs and towards the exit. I see a few people, some guys in their “cuts,” as Aziel likes to call them. A woman standing behind the bar. I ignore all of them, running towards the door and slamming my palms into it. The door swings open and Aziel snaps his head towards the door, his look goes from confused to understanding. But then I’m confused, because I watch his jaw pop a few times in what…anger?
He stands from his spot on the bench, and I watch as all of Lilah’s dandelions fall to the ground. Lilah pulls another dandelion from the ground, and when she stands, she notices me walking towards her. “Mommy!” She runs to me, her bare feet not the least bit fazed from the rocks and pebbles in the ground. “Look, I found flowers!” She hands me the longest one.
“Wow. Thank you, I love it.” I take the one she offers me, the head already floppy and folding over towards the stem. She runs off to search for more, completely forgetting my worried face. I can feel him before I see him. Glancing up, I see Aziel stomping towards me in irritation.
My shackles rise and I can’t help but freeze. He notices too, because his brows furrow and if possible, he looks even angrier. It’s like a dark cloud surrounds him, the storm building with each step he takes towards me. With each step, his unlaced boots disturb the ground beneath him as they pound into the dirt, creating a plume of dust to explode below him.
“Is this normal for you?” His eyebrows lower as he growls at me.
I’m confused.
“I’m sorry.” I glance down at my feet, something Santiago would have whipped me bloody for. I look up at him. “Is what normal for me?”
“Walking around like a little a Jessie in only a shirt.”
I blush, pulling the hem down even though it already reaches my knees. I feel naked, and I suddenly realize that I basically am. I’m wearing nothing beneath the shirt, and I’m sure he realizes this.
I shake my head.What’s a Jessie?My knees buckle and I lock them to keep from bowing down to him.
He isn’t Santiago. He isn’t Santiago.
I can’t help the instinctive motion of lacing my fingers behind my back, the dandelion strangled between my fingers.
Aziel notices my hands, frowning at them. “You couldn’t put on some pants on before you started prancing around outside?”
I shrink at his words.He’s angry. “I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t find Lilah when I woke up, and I was worried something happened to her.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t really give a shit. “I came to make sure you were still there, and she was awake. She told me she was hungry.”
I open my mouth to reprimand him again, but the words die on my tongue. Lilah was hungry, and Aziel obviously went out of his way to make her breakfast. I don’t even remember the last time I ate, and that thought makes my stomach tear into itself.
I bow my head but keep my eyes on his. “Thank you for getting her food.” I say softly.
He’s staring at my stomach, looking confused and angry and a little lost. “Hungry?”
“Oh, no, I’m fine.” I fold my arms across my chest and look for Lilah. “Lilah! Come on, it’s time to go!”
