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“That’s a horrible thing to say,” I snapped. “You make it sound as though he really might not have enjoyed himself as much as I did.” And I really did.
I’d tossed and turned all night with warm thoughts of Mikal. He made me laugh and smile. I wanted to see him again, but Penny was right, all I had right now was hope he’d call, and nothing more. Damn her for being right.
“You can fix this. Do you have his number?” she asked. I nodded. “Good. Send him a text message telling him what a great time you had last night and can’t wait to see him again. Or maybe invite him out yourself. There’s no reason why a woman can’t take the lead. Hell, I do it all the time. I just let them think it was their idea,” she winked.
It was an option. Probably wouldn’t use her exact words, but nothing wrong with letting him know that I had a good time. “I’ll think about it.”
“Fine. Okay, you went out to eat and the food was good. What was so exciting that you dragged me out of bed?”
“Penny, I felt so…relaxed with Mikal. It didn’t feel like a first date at all.”
“And?” she prodded.
“And I just never thought I’d feel this comfortable again. I mean, it’s been…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. My husband had been my world and being happy again felt…wrong. Like somehow, I was cheating on Ben’s memory. It was crazy but didn’t change how I felt.
“Three years since Ben died. He wouldn’t have wanted you to spend the rest of your life mourning him. And I know your son Kevin wouldn’t want you to either. It’s okay to want to be happy again. I know I want to see you happy.” She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “Trisha, I’m worried about you.”
“I’m okay,” I said.
“That’s not good enough. I want the old Trisha back,” she said.
That person didn’t exist any longer. I was the Trisha, who was Ben’s wife, Ben’s partner. When he died, I not only felt alone, but it felt like I had lost such a huge part of my life. He’s the one I came home to each night, would talk about my day and he really listened. Never judged me or put me down. He was not just my husband, but he’d been my best friend.
I miss you, Ben. Why did you have to leave me so quickly? We were supposed to live to a hundred together.
“I didn’t mean to make you sad,” Penny said.
“You didn’t. I was just thinking about Ben. We had so many plans for our future together and sometimes…I forget that he’s not here to make them all happen.” And I can’t do them alone.
“That’s true. Ben and the dreams the two of you had didn’t all come to fruition. But that doesn’t mean you stop dreaming. I am not saying Mikal is the man for you. He might turn out to be a complete ass. But you owe it to yourself to find out. There is more to life than work. You knew that before, and you need to remind yourself of that now,” she said.
I smiled at her. “Thank you for coming for breakfast. I really needed this pep talk.”
“That’s what best friends are for. Now, how about I teach you how to make real coffee because this stuff isn’t doing the trick,” she said and got up.
Like our men, we take our coffee differently as well.
My cell phone buzzed. It was from Mikal.
HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL. WE TALKED SO MUCH ABOUT THE BURGERS LAST NIGHT THAT I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD GIVE THEM A TRY TONIGHT IF YOU’RE AVAILABLE.
My heart raced at the thought of seeing him again.
“Hmm. I guess that is Mikal,” Penny said. Before I could deny it, she added, “You’re beaming. Did he ask you out?”
“Yes. For tonight,” I said.
“Good. And I don’t need to be at the bar until two. That gives us plenty of time to go shopping.”
“I have clothes. Some I haven’t worn in years,” I stated.
“Exactly. And I suggest you shouldn’t start wearing them again now. How about something new, fresh?”
“And see through?” I asked.
Penny chuckled. “It doesn’t have to be, but you don’t need to dress like you do at work either. You don’t want Mikal afraid of the big bad principal.”
“I’m a very nice and fair principal,” I defended, very proud of all I accomplished.
