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“I can see why you are not overjoyed. You’re happy for them, and sad for yourself, for what you’re missing out on,” Dottie said, and Trisha agreed. “I faced a similar issue when my children started their families. Robert moved to California with his wife and Richard to Alaska where he met his wife and stayed. We have two daughters and neither has started a family yet. They travel so much, I’m not sure they want to. We used to think about relocating to be closer to them, and they realized it was better for us all if we traveled several times a year to go visit each of them. We’re leaving next week for Alaska,” Dottie said.
“I see why. Four children. And how many grandchildren?” Trisha asked.
“Number seven due late November.”
Funny how I’ve been friends with Carson and Dottie for most of my life and didn’t even know these things. I felt ashamed that all these years I focused on mastering my acts, which I did, when I should’ve also taken time to acknowledge important events such as the births of their grandchildren. I haven’t been a good friend. I need to work on correcting that. Wasn’t sure if it was too late but watching how easily Trisha and Dottie let the conversations flow, I figured there was no better time than the present for me.
“The two of you should combine your anniversary celebration with the trip to visit the grandkids,” I suggested.
Dottie grinned and elbowed Carson. “See. Mikal agrees with me.”
Carson shot me a look, then picked up his beer and sipped at it. Smart man. I already know you’re not winning that argument. Heck, probably none of them.
Trisha smiled, and this time it looked genuine. “I think that’s a lovely idea.”
Dottie nodded. “It’s settled. Three against one. We’re taking that extended trip that you’ve been promising me for years.”
“Yes, dear,” Carson replied.
“I’ve always wanted to travel, to see the world, but that never worked out,” Trish stated.
“Why?” Dottie asked.
I wished she hadn’t. Trisha had told me about her plans with her late husband, how they had put off traveling the world until she retired. But he passed away before that happened.
Trisha shrugged. “Time never seemed to permit it. Which is exactly why you and Carson must make the time now.”
Because if you don’t, you live with regrets like Trisha.
“I think I’m going to start booking things when we get home,” Dottie said. Then she turned to me. “Why don’t you and Trisha join us?”
I was in the middle of sipping on my beer and almost choked on it. “Dottie, we…I’m…”
Trisha helped me by saying, “I’m still working. And actually, I’m about to fly out to see my son tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? When the hell were you going to tell me?It was a blow I wasn’t expecting. How long had she known she was leaving? Had she even planned on telling me or was she just going to send me a text message declining my dinner invitation next time I asked her out. SORRY. I’M OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I shouldn’t be angry. There was no commitment between us. But only hearing about it now, at the same time as my friends, shocked me. Why? Because maybe that’s all she considers me. A friend.
I felt more than just friendship. Real feelings were developing. I might not be sure of exactly what they were, but I wanted her here so we could explore them more. And now I know, that’s not going to happen. It’s not how she feels.
“If this is your last night in the states for a while, then you probably want to be alone with Mikal and not sitting here with us,” Dottie said. “Come on Carson. Let’s leave these two alone and go home and start planning our trip.”
We said goodbye and when they were gone, I turned to Trisha. I had so much I wanted to say. There was a part of me that was hurt. Crazy. I never cared if a woman I was seeing moved on. Then again, I’ve never cared for any of them like I do for Trisha. I didn’t want this to be the end of whatever this was. Was it too late to tell her? And what do I tell her? That I like her a lot? That I can see myself falling in love with her? Why would I want to add more stress on her when I can see she’s already overwhelmed? Yes, it was too late to have this conversation. She already has made her plans and I’d be an ass for trying to get her to change them now.
She’s doing what she wants to. I have no right to try to stop her.
“Did you need a ride to the airport tomorrow?” I asked.
Trisha looked at me surprised. “You’d do that?”
I nodded. “Of course. That’s what friends are for,” I said.
“Yes. That’s what friends are for. Thank you, Mikal. I’d love a ride.”
This was the first time there was an awkward silence between us. I hated it. Even if this was the end, I didn’t want it to be like this. She might not realize it, but she’d opened a part of my heart that I never knew was closed. For that, I’m eternally grateful.
Reaching over, I took her hand in mine, brought it to my lips and kissed her fingers. “Sweetheart, what do you say we get out of here and go for a walk on the beach?” One last time.
She shrugged. “I have a lot of packing to do. Maybe we can skip the walk and you take me home.”
