AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My eyes meet Cal’s, and I do a quick check in. “You okay?” I ask.
“Yes. We’re good,” he responds.
Joy huffs, “If by good you mean we had to run from four of those fuckers because Bryn fell asleep, then yeah.”
“Did Dem steal their weapons?” I whisper, as I reach for a little girl’s microphone set, the kind that encourages obnoxious impromptu karaoke concerts that leave parents trapped on the couch with fake smiles for hours. It’s a brilliant invention. I stroke it longingly before I wield it like the weapon it is, holding it up and searching for that little on switch.
“Yeah, but they’re using their powers,” Joy whispers as she tucks some blonde strands behind her ears and peers towards the Christmas cane, which seems way too far away. “One of them hit us with despair so bad, I thought I’d die.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Cal lies, adjusting his glasses.
We both just give him a deadpan look.
“We have to focus on that cane,” he says, changing the subject rather than admitting his lie.
But he’s right.
“You go. I’ll annoy the crap out of them,” I reassure them.
But a loud crash and the tinkling of falling glass undermine my words. I glance over to see Dem and one of the other demons grappling in midair, a cloud of dark magic all around them.
They crash into the teddy bear stuffing machine, denting it, before they ricochet into the giant 3D printer that Santa uses to create most of the plastic crap kids want these days. There’s a dull thud as that machine falls and breaks.
A tear fills my eye suddenly, for no real reason, and my grip on the mic tightens.
Fook.That must be the despair arsehole fighting Dem.
Well, if you’ve got to feel depressed…might as well use it.
“Go!” I whisper urgently to Cal and Joy.
Then I flick that microphone on and start to belt out Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You.”
Because what is more fooking frustrating and obnoxious than hearing some tone-deaf twat sing that song?
Immediately, I’m gratified to see annoyed expressions on every face as demons and angels alike reach to cover their ears. I get a thrill that perks up my dick as I spread my accent a bit thicker, like peanut butter, changing love into loooove.
Cal and Joy bolt for the cane, running at top speed.
And then, just as I’d hoped, one of the exterior doors to the workshop swings open and Bryn pokes in a very disgruntled head. “Hey! Some of us are trying to sleep!”
“Bryn, blast them!” I yell, foregoing the lyrics for a second.
Bryn’s not the sharpest tack, the brightest bulb, the cleanest knickers…but when you need him, he’s there.
A wave of exhaustion fills the room, and I swear, Sleeping Beauty’s story must be the result of a sloth demon’s work, because I blink my eyes once before I find myself tipping forward, too utterly spent to even put my hands out to stop my fall.
Right before my mind drifts into sleep mid-fall, I hope fervently that Bryn has enough sense to tie these fookers up.
Otherwise, I don’t think we’re going to have a very holly jolly good time.
