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I press the button to skip to the next track. “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” starts up, and the reindeer all groan, but I laugh and leave it, because a little humility is good for them, right? Besides, the truth is Rudolph’s actually a female who tried…err…mating with every single one of them. It did not end well. Dad had to transfer the horny bitch to a separate division, and I’m pretty sure my reindeer are traumatized to this day.
I hum along as I open up my cupboards, grabbing things that we’ll need. Donner follows along behind me and takes the items one by one with his mouth as I hand them to him, but when I’m all done and I turn towards my big island so we can get mixing, I don’t see anything.
Not my mixer. Not my spices. Not my rolling pin.
I whirl and glare at Comet, who’s been known to steal my socks.
I’ve found them in his stall before, all crusty and gross with who-knows-what.
“Comet!” I scold.
But that’s when Donner starts snorting so hard, he wheezes.
I turn to face the bratty reindeer, tossing my hands onto my hips. “Are you stirring up trouble? You naughty reindeer. You just tried to frame your brother!” I dart forward and scratch him between the ears, reverting to baby talk again. “You’re just the worstest. That’s so meanie weanie of you.”
He doesn’t seem too repentant, because he keeps laughing.
Finally, I sigh and step back. “I’m going to go wash my hands. And when I turn back around, I expect all of my things to be on the island. Or no cookies.” I bop his nose and then head to the sink.
When I turn back, everything is there, just like magic.
I smile wide and grin. “Okay, boys. Let’s whip up some Christmas spirit.”
And my night goes from awful to awesome, morphing from blech to delicious, just like the sugar and spice I stir together.
I sigh when I realize that Kristoff fromFrozenhad it right. “Reindeer are better than people.” That’s not a good sign for a girl on the dating market.
