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Blizzard glances at his watch. “No can do. Test flight starts in ten.”
“Oh, but I just saw a sleigh down in the village that crashed into a snowbank!” she exclaims, letting her luminous green eyes grow wide. “I was hoping these reindeer could help pull it out!”
Blizzard’s jaw drops in alarm. “Oh! Oh! Of course, Ms. Kringle. Go right ahead.” He flutters his wings and flies over to the wooden post and starts untying us. “Do you need my help? They’re a lot to manage, especially this one!” He bops my nose reprovingly when my teeth get too close to his stomach.
“Oh no, thank you. I brought some cookies to reward them.” Joy’s smile turns up a few watts, and I get an inkling that makes my hooves start to prance around.
That smile looks fake. It looks…naughty. I canna resist a naughty Joy.
Next to me, Cal says, “Fuck yes, lie to him, baby.” As a white lie demon, nothing gets him revved up more than watching a girl lie to someone else. Of course, since he’s stuck in a reindeer body, all that Joy and the cherub hear is a low moan.
“Don’t worry, Cupid.” Joy reaches up and strokes Cal’s neck. “Your friends will help. I’ll strap you all up, and you can all work together.”
“Did that sound dirty to anyone else?” Demosthenes asks, momentarily distracted from his attempt to nip the keys that are in the cherub’s pocket. Even our thievery demon is distracted from his stealing by her.
“She can strap me up any time. I love sex swings,” Brynjarr responds, pushing off the post and trotting forward to sniff her pockets. “Yes. There are at least eight cookies in there. I call dibs on first pick!” he declares before he yawns. I doubt he’ll be awake long enough to call dibs. That sloth demon is the laziest fook I know.
“Come on, boys!” Joy calls out, oblivious to the red rocket I end up sporting when I peek down the front of her dress.
“Do you need some rope?” the dopey cherub asks, hovering way too close to me.
“Oh no, they already have some. I just need some muscle.” She winks at him and grabs my lead, tugging me towards the road. The other guys follow, and I let my eyes enjoy the view of her ass as we tromp down the street.
One day, we’re going to be ourselves again. One day, I’m gonna walk up to Joy and just grab her, swing her into my arms, and dip her. Then I’m going to ravage her mouth with kisses until she begs me to ravish other parts of her.
Until that day, I’ll happily follow along with whatever silly scheme she’s got.
We come to a curve in the road, passing some candy cane shaped light poles and entering a less populated part of Christmas Village, where the road isn’t lined with gingerbread-looking houses but faced with evergreen trees. The trees block some of the wind from the blizzard, but not the cold. Snowflakes as big as my hooves tumble down from the sky, looking just as lacey as those that human children cut out of paper. Fookin’ Christmas magic making it all enchanted looking.
Joy turns back to look at us, a wicked twinkle in her eye. “So, in case you hadn’t realized, boys, there is no sleigh! I busted you out for a last day of freedom before the big countdown!”
Dasher—I mean Gus—bounds down the open road and leaps into the air, flying just because. Maybe he’s working out some of his rage. It’s something Santa never lets us do, like he’s afraid we’d fly off and leave his ass. Maybe we would. But we wouldna do that to Joy.
“So, who wants to give me a ride?”
“Oh, me!” Bryn perks up for once in his fooking life. “You can ride me any time, Christmas princess!” our sloth demon calls.
“Hell no, you got the last turn.” Cal lowers his horns and rams Bryn, who barely lowers his own antlers in time to block the hit. The sloth demon is the worst at battle.
“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Dem runs around them and quickly kneels down so Joy can climb up onto his back, effectively stealing everyone else’s shot, the arsehole.
“Thank you, Comet,” she says, patting the white shooting star mark on his furry forehead. You can see his grin, even on his animal face.
“Fooking theivery demon,” I call out. “Go bile yer hed!” My accent comes out so strong, I can’t even say boil.
“Snooze and lose,” he retorts, standing up carefully with Joy on his back. “Oh man, those thighs feel sooo good wrapped around me. Yeah, baby, scoot up. Make yourself comfy. Daddy’s gonna take you for the ride of your life.”
I blow a raspberry at him, which just makes Joy laugh.
“Oh, make her laugh some more. Wonder if she’ll come if I make her ride rough!”
“Don’t you talk about her like that, you asswipe!” Cal yells.
Here’s the thing about Cal—he never yells. White lie demons love smoothing things over, lulling people into a false sense of security.
I turn to him and arch a brow. At least, I think I do. With stupid fooking animal features being as confusing as they are, I canna tell. “Whoa. What’s up with you?”
“She’s our…” Cal trails off, pawing at the ground.
