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Chapter Seventeen
Nate went to the place inside his mind where only self-loathing lived. In this place, which was a small compartment in his mind that only existed of slate-gray walls, he didn’t have to feel. He didn’t have to think. He didn’t have to listen to anyone, or wonder what would happen to him now.
He could just be.
When the back door of the van opened, Nate didn’t even look toward it. Someone would come in and make a big sigh and tell him he’d screwed up. As if he didn’t already know. And he hadn’t just messed up with the Bureau. He’d seriously compromised Connor’s safety, and he’d put Ginger in a no-win situation, and he honestly just wanted to go back to River Bay.
At River Bay, he knew who to be. He knew how to act. He knew what to eat, and what time that would happen. He knew how to stand at attention for count, and he knew how to count down the days until this entire nightmare would end.
Everything at the ranch had grown increasingly complicated. Maybe he simply wasn’t cut out for a regular life.
The whiff of sunscreen and sand met his nose, and he got jolted out of the gray place. He looked up, and Ginger sat down across from him in the narrow space. Surprise filled him, and he actually looked to see if the guards were going to let them be in there alone.
The door drifted closed, but didn’t latch, and Nate got his answer.
“Nick wouldn’t tell you, would he?”
The whole way back from the storage facility where Nate had gone to pick up Nick, the young man insisted Nate should tell Ginger everything himself. Nate wanted to, but he also knew he’d be driving into the exact situation that had happened.
“I had to call the Bureau,” Ginger said.
“I know.” Nate nodded, wishing so many things could be different. But he’d spent plenty of time in his life wishing he’d have made a different decision. Done something just a little different. Taken a different way to work one day, or not answered the phone when Oscar had called the first time.
So many seemingly small things had brought his life to this point. Including a small thing like reaching out and holding Ginger’s hand. He did that, surprised and amazed that she let him touch her.
She did pull away after only a few seconds, though, and Nate felt his world shift one more time that day.
“Okay,” he said. “What’d they give you? Ten minutes?”
“Yes.”
“And we’ve been sitting here for at least one.” He drew in a deep breath. “So this is a nine-month story in nine minutes.” He looked up and met her eyes, because he didn’t want to be ashamed of himself anymore. And this particular thing wasn’t illegal.
“I met Oscar Dominguez almost a year before I got indicted for investment fraud,” he said. “We did a few minor deals together, mostly so he could test me. See how I handled his money, and if I paid him out on time. All of that.”
Nate could easily see himself from seven years ago. Young. Thought he was hot stuff. Rich. Good-looking. He’d felt invincible.
“I did, and we worked together well. I made money on his investment; so did he. It was a win-win.”
“This wasn’t illegal?”
“Nope. All straight up investments. Lucrative. High-risk. But legal.” He took another breath. “I’d put a larger amount of money into a pharmaceutical company for him, and it was going well. They got bought by one of the big giants, and we were all thrilled. I called to sell the stocks, which usually happened by the close of business. It did, and we were set to cash out. I had a dummy account for cash outs. That way, I could take my cut of the profits, and then transfer the rest to the client. It kept things neat.” He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes as he remembered the day. He could see it clearly in his head, as clearly as if it had just happened yesterday.
“It was raining that day in Austin,” he said, his voice almost a ghost of itself. “I’d ducked under the eaves of a bakery when my phone dinged at me, because it was a notification of money. I saw we’d been cashed out, and all I needed to do was make the split and the deal would be done. Next thing I know, I’m shoved against the brick. My phone is gone. And I’m in handcuffs. I couldn’t finish the cash out.”
“So you’ve had the money all this time,” she said.
“I do like how smart you are,” Nate said with a smile. He opened his eyes and looked at Ginger, who did not smile back. “And yes. That money has sat in that dummy account all this time. I owed him just over twenty-six thousand dollars, and I’ve been paying him back in cash drops in a locker in the mall.”
Ginger just stared at him, unblinking. He hated the look on her face, and he hated even more than he’d put it there. He could tell she felt stupid, tricked, betrayed.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “My last drop was today, and we had this beach thing. I tried to move it, and Oscar wouldn’t. So I asked Nick to make it for me.”
“You put my cousin in danger.”
“Oscar isn’t—okay, yes.” Nate didn’t want to lie. Oscar Dominguez was absolutely dangerous if he didn’t get his money. “It was a simple pick up and drop off.”
“Obviously not.”
