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“You don’t know that.” She’d had plenty of conversations with Slate about his tortured past, his time in prison, and the man he was terrified he’d become again.
“Yes, I do,” Luke said. “Because I know he loves you too.”
Jill opened her mouth to retort, but her voice faltered.
Luke pulled her into a hug, which would’ve been awkward in any other situation. “Let him go for now,” he whispered, which caused her sobs to renew. “Give him time and distance, and I promise you, he’ll come back to you.”
She clung to him as she cried, and Luke showed her a great kindness by holding her, stroking her hair, and staying silent until the storm inside her subsided.
She stepped back and wiped her face, humiliation making her hot from head to toe. Without another word, she turned and went back to the single bedroom in the West Wing where she’d lived alone for the past eight years.
Always alone, she thought as she threw herself onto the bed and started crying again.
* * *
The next evening,she pulled up to the farmhouse where she’d grown up, already crying. She wondered when she’d run out of tears, because they’d been showing up at random times all day.
Mama came out onto the porch, and Jill leapt from her car. “Mama,” she said, her vision blurry as she ran up the sidewalk and mounted the steps to the porch. “He’s gone, Mama.”
“Oh, my poor dear,” Mama said, receiving her into her arms. This embrace was the opposite of the one they’d shared in the basement when her mother had seemed so small and Jill had felt so big.
Now she was the tiny one. The one who couldn’t stand without her mother’s support. The one who had never felt so lost, even though she’d literally lost everything before. Now, she still had a home, she still had a car, she still had a job, and yet it felt like she’d lost more than she’d ever be able to get back.
“Come inside,” Mama murmured. “I have things that will help.”
“Nothing is going to help this,” Jill said miserably. “I thought I’d hit rock bottom before, Mama, but this is…this isawful.”
She thought she’d been in love before too, but she knew now that she hadn’t loved as deeply as she loved Slate.
“How is losing him worse than losing my apartment, my friends, and all my money?” She only made it inside because Mama was holding her hand. “How is losing him worse than embarrassing you and Daddy?”
“Hey, sugar,” Daddy said, rising from his favorite armchair in the living room. “I see why Mama’s been baking all day.”
“Hush, Harry,” Mama scolded. “Her one true love broke up with her. What I’ve been baking won’t fix that, but I’m hoping it’ll help a little bit.” She led the two of them into the kitchen, where the entire dining room table was covered with baked goods.
Chocolate cake, and chocolate chip cookies, and caramel oat bars dipped in chocolate ganache. Chocolate milk, and chocolate almonds lacies, and chocolate covered Twinkies.
“You made the mousse pie,” Jill said, her eyes filling with tears again.
“Is that where you want to start?” Mama asked. “I’ll get the forks.”
The three of them sat down at the table, and Mama put the whole pie in front of Jill before handing her a fork. “All right, baby. Let’s talk as we eat.”
* * *
Jill smiledat Missy as she leaned toward her again. “Those lashes look amazing,” she said. “Now, hold still so I can get this wing just right.”
The twelve-year-old didn’t move a muscle as Jill swept the eyeliner onto her face. She barely blinked, and when Jill finished the first eye, she sat up straight. “You can relax for a minute.”
Missy exhaled, and Jill looked down at her makeup palette. “Thanks for doing this, Jill,” she said. “My mom says she’s hopeless with makeup.”
“Oh, your momma’s hopeless at getting up early when she doesn’t have to.” Jill grinned at Missy. “Because I’ve seen her with some pretty flawless makeup before.”
“She’s just extra-tired right now,” Missy said. “You should see her ankles. They’re like…” She looked past Jill as if Emma would be standing there. She wouldn’t be, so Jill didn’t look. It was barely six a.m., and Jill was driving Missy to the junior high today too. She had a hair appointment at eight o’clock, as it was Halloween, and no one wanted to work once school got out.
Jill had been moved to horse care now that the honeybee programs had ended, but she’d taken the whole morning off today. She normally loved Halloween, but this year, she hadn’t been able to get into the spirit of things.
She hated that Slate had stolen an entire month from her as it was, but now she’d given him her love of holidays too. He’d never said specifically that he didn’t like Halloween, but none of the cowboys around the ranch did, so she assumed he wouldn’t either.
