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Chapter Twenty-One
Slate told himself he’d take as many steps as he needed to in order to have Jill Kyle in his life. He’d step first, he’d step last, he’d step sideways.
He didn’t want to talk to her in front of everyone, and there was entirely too much jingle and jolly in the West Wing for his liking. She didn’t look away from him, and he sure hoped it was because of the magnetic pull that had existed between them since the day he’d found her throwing rocks at the ocean and cursing the Lord.
He now understood that level of desperation, and he’d previously thought he’d descended as far as a man could go.
Four more steps.
This place was huge.
Three more steps.
Would everyone stop staring?
Two more steps.
He was sweltering hot inside this jacket, with the heat on in the house.
One more step, and they met.
Without speaking, he took her hand in his, a thrill moving through every cell in his body simultaneously. Detouring, he led her down the hall and outside, leaving the chaos and the Christmas décor behind inside the house.
Relief struck him behind the ribs, and he drew in a deep breath of the evening air. The sun went down earlier in late November than he remembered it doing when he’d left Texas, and the words he’d been trying to find for days finally appeared beneath his tongue.
“I should’ve never left this place,” he said. He didn’t slow or stumble, not in his feet or his words. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know,” she said, her voice deadly calm and quiet.
Slate’s pulse pounced at him, and a stream of negative talk assaulted his mind. He pushed against all of it, because he wanted to be here for this moment.
When he’d walked in and seen her eating that ice cream…the very flavor she’d told him she’d eat if he broke up with her…
His heart ached.
So many thoughts had streamed through his mind from,wow, this music is loudtoher hair is blacktohow much ice cream has she eaten since September?
“But I probably already have,” Jill said, linking her arm through his. “Wait, no I haven’t. But I probably can. I will.”
Slate looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and her grin was just as electric and just as bright as he remembered.
“I’m not going to talk,” she said, sobering. “You do all the talking.”
Slate could barely think because of her touch. He’d missed that so much. He hadn’t even realized how much he needed it in his life until he hadn’t had it. Even then, he hadn’t known how much he loved her, and how much he needed her, and how much he wanted to hold her and kiss her.
“I’m going to lead with the important stuff,” he said. “I guess it’s all important.” The well-organized thoughts had scrambled again. “Uh, let’s see.” He stopped walking near a tree in the back yard that hadn’t been there when he’d left. The scent of horses rode on the air, and a bark sounded from far away.
He glanced toward the West Wing, where he’d left Axle. He was fine, and Ted had picked him up like a baby the moment he’d released Slate, almost as if he was happier to see the dog than he was his friend.
He looked back at Jill. “I love you.”
Her eyes widened and filled with tears. Her chin wobbled, and she pulled in a breath and held everything tight.
“That’s an important one,” he said. “I’m not going to run when things get hard. That’s equally as important. I never should’ve left this place, that’s one hundred percent true. I’ve been miserable for months.” Now that his tongue had untangled, the words were just rolling out of his mouth.
“I can go to Austin by myself. Things are great with my family. I confronted my past and made peace with it. And now, all I need to be truly happy is you.” He took her other hand in his. “It’s always been you, Jill. Always. You make me laugh, and you make me strong, and you make me better. I like who I am when you’re with me, and while I’m not so sure about the black hair, if you like it, I like it.”
He leaned toward her, glad when she kept her head down, not overly eager to kiss him. He rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve made mistakes. I know that. But I’m fixing them one by one. None of it will matter if I can’t have you. I love you. I love you so much I can’t adequately explain it.”
