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“Oh, that’s right,” he said, the smile sliding right off his face. “You like giving people rides to places you don’t want to go.” With that, he set Connor down, took the boy’s hand, and turned his back on her.
Hannah’s chest squeezed as they walked away, and her eyelids fluttered in several fast blinks.
“What did he mean?” Missy asked. “You wanted to come to the beach, right, Hannah?”
“Of course, sweetie,” Hannah said, but her voice pitched up too much. How dare he say such a thing in front of the kids? How was she supposed to react now?
“Okay, let’s go,” Missy said, making to follow the boys. Hannah let her go too, seriously debating leaving. She could throw her bag in the front seat, text Luke that he was in charge of the kids, and just drive. She had snacks and water. Heck, she had enough food for three people for hours. She could drive and drive and drive, and she’d be fine.
Deep down, though, she knew she wasn’t fine.
Missy turned back when her feet first touched the sand. “Are you coming?”
Hannah lifted her phone, an idea forming in her mind. “I just got a call. Here. Take the bag.” She put the non-existent phone call to her ear, feeling a bit bad for lying to Missy. Sometimes adults had to lie, and she figured this fib wasn’t hurting anyone.
She passed the heavy bag to Missy, who nearly crumpled under its weight. “Holy moly,” she said. “What is in this thing?”
Hannah was used to people making fun of her for the weight of her purses and bags. Her older sisters had been doing it forever, and even Jill had said something a few times. Of course, Jill could literally reduce the contents of her purse to the size of a credit card. She lived by the motto that there was hardly anything she needed besides her phone and her driver’s license.
Hannah existed on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, and she never went anywhere without a bag full of supplies. The nail clippers she carried had come in useful many times, as she liked to remind Jill. So did the sanitizing wipes, the aspirin, the bandages, the Chapstick, and the half-pint bottle of water.
Once Missy had nearly reached the spot where Luke had spread his towel on the sand, Hannah hurried back to the car and got behind the wheel again. With the air conditioner running, she stared at her phone.
She navigated to Chuck’s name. Their last few texts sat there, and they were her excuses for why she couldn’t see him that weekend.
Her thumb hovered over the phone icon, and Hannah looked up and out the windshield. In slow motion, she could see her life playing in front of her, reflected in the glass. She’d attended enough therapy session to know she wasn’t crazy, and that her ideal life would be projected out of her mind and into this fantasy on the hot glass.
She saw herself bringing her own children to the beach to meet their father. He’d been here for a couple of hours without them, because he simply needed a whole day of rest and relaxation before he could face another week.
Luke greeted her right where he had on the sidewalk, but instead of saying something cutting and sarcastic, he welcomed her with a kiss and a smile. He took both of their children’s hands in his, saying, “Let’s give Momma a minute to herself.”
“I want Luke,” she whispered. She looked down at her phone. “Now or never.”
She tapped the button to connect the call.
