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She smiled at her mother as she went by, but the gesture wasn’t real and didn’t last long.
“We got the Greenwood contract,” Travis said, practically dancing over to Daddy. “It’s in the dairy office, signed, sealed, and done.”
Daddy started to laugh, and he released Mama to hug Travis and pound him on the back. Clarissa jumped to Mama’s side to steady her, and they kept moving toward the house. Thankfully, Mr. Bossy had gone back inside.
When she arrived, Clarissa found Will had arrived as well. He growled something at his phone, his fingers flying over the screen. He had the fastest fingers in the west—for real. He’d won an award at some stupid cell phone store a couple of years ago for being able to send the most accurate texts the fastest.
“What’s with you?” Clarissa asked, standing close to her mother as she sank into a chair at the dining room table.
“The fertilizer company wants to push us back a week,” he said without looking up. “They did that last time too, and our crops aren’t doing as well. They can’t keep doing that. Our money is as good as someone else’s.”
“You tell them,” Clarissa said, because sometimes it was fun to encourage her brothers’ bad moods. They were going to have them no matter what she said or did, and she’d learned how to swim in the shark-infested waters a long time ago.
“No Ford tonight?” Mama asked.
Lee moved the tortillas and the charred sweet corn to the table. “No, Mama. He’s got swimming lessons on Wednesdays now, just for the next couple of weeks, remember?”
Clarissa remembered Lee telling them all that, but Mama obviously didn’t. She turned away from her confusion to help her brother get dinner on the table. She caught his look of gratitude, though no words were said, and finally Daddy and Travis came in the house, their chat about the contracts with a huge grocery chain out of New Orleans done for now.
Daddy didn’t like talking business at the dinner table, but he’d do it any other time of day. Clarissa put the bowl of guacamole on the table and sat down beside Mama. Daddy braced himself against the empty chair on her other side and looked around at his sons, who all still stood around.
“Come sit down, boys,” he said, and all three of them did. They had varying shades of red hair, with Lee’s being the darkest. Everything about her oldest brother was the darkest, including the green in his eyes, and the way his skin tanned more than the others. His mood and attitude too, in Clarissa’s opinion.
Travis sat next to her, and since he’d sold a huge contract today, he alone wore a look of glee. “How was your day, Rissy?” he asked just as Daddy said, “We have so much to be thankful for. Let’s pray, and then we’ll eat and talk about those things.”
He met Clarissa’s eyes, and since she didn’t wear a cowboy hat and Daddy hadn’t taken his off yet, he took a moment to do that. Travis too, as he’d obviously hustled through the house to share his news without removing his hat.
Otherwise, hats came off at one of the doors. Mama’s rules. She wanted to see a person’s face when talking to them, and she claimed cowboy hats gave men an unfair advantage in a conversation.
Clarissa happened to agree, but the unfair advantage came when flirting with a cowboy. Mm hm, a man who could duck that head with that hat on it, whether he was embarrassed or just shy, really got her pulse pounding. Oh, yes it did.
She bowed her head and closed her eyes, but she barely heard her daddy’s prayer. The image of Spencer in his dark brown cowboy hat filled her mind and stole her focus.
When her brothers chorused, “Amen,” she did too.
Daddy took his seat, and said, “All right, Trav. You start. Two things you’re grateful for today.”
Clarissa stayed out of the way while her brothers dove for the food, and then she took her own taco and loaded plenty of grilled chicken, corn, and guac into the tortilla. Her mind spun around what she could say she was grateful for, and when it came her turn, she said, “I’m grateful we have this time together to say what we’re grateful for.”
“Cop out,” Will coughed into his third taco. Maybe his fourth.
She ignored him and took another bite of her taco. With that swallowed, she said, “I’m grateful for the chance to spread my wings and fly.”
Mama grinned at her. “To have faith is to have wings,” she said in her raspy voice, and Clarissa simply smiled back at her.
It would do no good to admit that flying actually scared Clarissa. That she actually didn’t know if she’d take off or fall flat on her face.
What she did know was that she had totry, and she supposed that it did take a bit of faith to even take that first step toward trying.
