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He wanted to go. He did. This was the right thing.
“Let’s go, brother,” Nate said, appearing in the front doorway of the Annex with Ursula, his wife’s German shepherd. “We’ve got breakfast out here, and then we’ll head out.”
“The truck’s packed?”
“All packed,” Nate said. “One trip, like you said.” He smiled as he stepped inside. “Stay, Ursula.” He shoved the dog back out with his leg, glanced over his shoulder, and then closed the door behind him.
Spencer was the same age as Nate, and yet the other man felt so much wiser than Spencer did. “I want to do this,” Spencer said.
“Change is hard,” Nate said back. “You’re not far away at all, Spence. Fifteen minutes in the car. That’s five songs.” He grinned, and Spencer shook his head, though a chuckle escaped from his mouth.
He’d once told Nate he could get through any task by figuring out how many of his country songs he got to listen to while he did it. Mucking out a really dirty stall, where a horse had been sick all night? Twenty minutes. Six or seven of the best country music songs in the world, and the job was done.
“I’m going to miss working out with you guys in the morning,” he said.
“Then come,” Nate said. “Dallas does.”
Dallas lived in town, not on the ranch, and yes, he came to the morning workouts sometimes.Sometimes, Spencer told himself. Nate, Ted, Slate, and Luke, who all lived on-site, were there every day.
Spencer had been too, and now he wouldn’t be.
“I know you’ll be welcome on Sundays,” Nate said. “Ginger said just this morning that she was going to have you for dinner any time you wanted to come.”
“So about like she does now,” Spencer said with a smile.
“Yes,” Nate said. “About like now. You’re not losing us here, Nate. You’re gaining everyone there.”
He nodded and drew in a deep breath through his nose. His resolve strengthened. “There’s something for me there, Nate. I can feel it.”
“I hope so, brother.” Nate took him into a tight hug. “I know you want this change, and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“Thank you,” Spencer whispered, holding his friend tightly in return.
Nate stepped back and adjusted his cowboy hat. “Now come on. I’m sure Miss Emma’s having a fit about melting frosting about now.” He led the way outside, and the moment Spencer’s boot touched the wood on the porch, applause filled the air.
He went to the top of the steps while Nate went down them and took in the crowd that had gathered to say good-bye. His heart filled with love for all the good men and women he’d worked with for so long. So many of them had shaped him and re-shaped him into the man he was, pinching off a corner there, and smoothing out a rough spot on his back.
He lifted his hand in an acknowledgement wave as Ted let loose with an ear-splitting whistle. At the bottom of the steps, Ginger met him with tears in her eyes.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” she whispered. “We’ve been here so long together, Spence. Hope Eternal won’t be Hope Eternal without you.”
“Thank you for saying so,” he said, though he didn’t believe it. He’d seen plenty of cowboys and cowgirls come and go, and life on the ranch simply marched on. Hearts might be heavier for a few days or weeks, but time and distance healed things. A new normal was established—this time it would be without him.
He moved to the next person, who was Emma. “I packed a basket of food in the back seat,” she said, holding him tightly. “It’s got enough for lunch today and dinner, and maybe lunch and dinner tomorrow.”
Spencer smiled down at her. “Em, knowing you, it has enough food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner from now until next week.” They laughed together, though tears flowed down Emma’s face. She turned away quickly and lifted her daughter into her arms. “Say good-bye to Uncle Spence. He has to go.”
Spencer hugged the dark-haired girl, who gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek. He said good-bye to everyone, accepted their well-wishes, and ate too many doughnuts on such a rickety stomach.
Then, he made the fifteen-minute drive to Sweet Water Falls Farm, a truckload of men behind him. They got everything moved into the cabin in the same amount of time they’d taken to move it out of the Annex, and then Spence was left alone.
He stood in the house, looking around at the boxes, the basket of food from Emma, and his blanket on the back of the couch.
“This is your house now,” he told himself, just as he had many times in the past. Before landing at Hope Eternal, Spencer had moved every few months for seven years. That was a lot of moving, and a lot of new houses. A lot of boxes packed and unpacked, and a lot of trying to find himself.
The walls felt too close, and Spencer stepped onto the front porch. Clarissa’s house sat to his left, his being the last destination on this road, and about level with his. He saw the curtains flutter in her window, and he suspected she’d been spying on him during the move. So she’d seen his friends, and she’d seen how little he had to his name.
Since he had nothing to do between now and Monday morning but unpack and settle in, he decided he had a few minutes to spare. Plus, he wanted to see the woman who’d been haunting him in his dreams and his waking thoughts for the past seventeen days, since first seeing her standing outside that shoppe, her arms folded.
He went down the steps, across their two lawns, and right up to her front door. Someone had painted it a blinding white, and Clarissa had hung a beautiful wreath of sunflowers on it, giving it a brightness boost.
He knocked, stepped back, and waited.
