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25
Gretchen finished with the edible gold dust and stepped back to admire the company logo she’d just applied to the chocolates. She’d hand-painted the H and the J, but the ampersand between them glittered in gold.
They made her smile, but they didn’t bring her joy. Not the way monogrammed and personalized caramels once had.
She wiped her hair back out of her face, the tears she’d been fighting for days always so close to the surface. She started boxing up the caramels, as the lead secretary for the marketing firm Henry & Jenkins would be here in about thirty minutes.
After that job finished, Gretchen needed to get caramelizing the apples that had been delivered that morning. The re-opening of the shop had been a spectacular event, and Taffy had sold out of almost everything before closing time.
She’d stayed at the shop until almost eleven that night, mostly to restock the cases, but also afraid to go home. She just knew Will would come to the shop, and she didn’t want to miss him.
They were closed on Sunday, and on the way home every day last week, Gretchen had actually convinced herself that Will would be waiting on her front steps. He wouldn’t want to make a big scene at the candy shop.
He hadn’t been there either, and she’d gone out to Daddy’s to help with the oxygen tank, with his meds, and their traditional Thursday night sandwich date had continued without a hitch.
Nothing in Gretchen’s life felt put together right. Without Will, she didn’t care about Taffy the same way. She couldn’t be herself. Last night, she couldn’t bear the thought of going home and not finding him, and she’d slept at her daddy’s. Elvis had been none-too-pleased with her when she’d shown up that morning to feed him, and Gretchen couldn’t blame him.
She was none-too-pleased with herself.
She finished with the boxes and took them out front for Carmen, one of the new cashiers, to give to Bridgette Barker when she came in.
Gretchen untied and retied her apron. “I’m going to be working on the caramel apples next,” she said, moving down the case to see what they had left. “Looks like the Oreo and the apple pie ones are the most popular.”
“And the one with all the tiny M&M’s,” Carmen said. “With the milk chocolate.”
Gretchen nodded and returned to the cash register to pick up a notebook. She didn’t mean to take a full inventory, and she caught herself in time to stop doing so. She simply wrote down the apples they had, and the ones they didn’t. She’d make a plan from there.
She went through the swinging door, studying her notes. Gretchen knew instantly that something was different in the candy kitchen, and she jerked her attention up. Was there another fire?
“Howdy, ma’am.” Will reached up and tipped his hat at her.
Gretchen’s whole body lit up, and she lost the ability to hold her notebook. It tumbled to the floor, but she just stood there, staring at the delicious cowboy in her kitchen. She hadn’t smelled smoke; she’d smelled his cologne, and she’d known instantly that something was different.
In that moment, she knew she was different too. She wasn’t the same woman she’d been when she’d smashed caramel into Will Cooper’s shirt at the drugstore. He wasn’t even close to the same man.
“Listen,” he said, clearing his throat. He flicked his gaze toward the doorway that led into the other candy kitchen. His eyes came back to hers. “I’m just going to do what I do best, okay? And that’s say all kinds of inappropriate things. The difference is, I’ve thought about all of these, and I want to say them.”
Gretchen absently tucked her hands in her apron, her heartbeat speeding through her veins.The woman I love.
Was he going to take that back? Had he meant to say it?
“I am who I am, Gretchen,” he said. “I know I’m not perfect, and I know I can be this growly, barky beast. I’m trying to do better about that, and I’m going to keep trying. I want to keep trying, because I want you in my life.”
He took a breath, and she realized how nervous he was. “I want you in my life, because I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes, but she still couldn’t get her voice to work.
“One thing I’ve learned over the past couple of months. Three months. Whatever. Is that I need to be more patient, and that starts with myself. I want to be this perfect man for you. I want to protect you from hard things, and bad things, and sad things. All I wanted when I came to the shop was to be here for you. I didn’t mean to ask the wrong questions or seem like I was being too critical.”
Another deep breath. “I just wanted to maybe shoulder some of thehugeburden you were carrying. I did a real bad job at that, but I’m going to try again. I mean, if you’ll let me.” He cleared his throat. “I’m going to be patient with myself as I change, and I’m going to be patient with us, and I’m going to be patient with Elvis.”
Gretchen broke, her eyes finally closing and releasing the tears she’d kept inside by pure will.
“I am, Gretchen,” he said softly. “If you’ll just give me another chance, I’ll show you that I can be kind enough, and quiet enough, and patient enough for you. I can. IknowI can.”
She shook her head, the image of him blurry through her tears. She blinked and wiped at her face, squared her shoulders, and took a step toward him. His countenance had fallen, and she wasn’t sure why.
“You better not, Will Cooper,” she said, her voice as flinty as she could make it.
