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First thing in the morning, I couldn’t put it off any longer. My alarm clock went off at five am, and I’d run out of excuses. Lucian was still sleeping on the couch, so I had the privacy I needed.
As my stomach flipped with anxiety, I summoned the courage to creep to the bathroom and find the box I’d stashed there. I took the test and did my makeup while waiting for the results. That was the only thing I could think of to distract myself so I didn’t pace in front of the clock and accidentally wake Lucian. My hands shook the whole time, so it was a miracle I didn’t end up looking like a clown.
Five minutes passed slowly. I checked the test. Positive.
My heart fell. “No,” I whispered. “No, no, no.”
I blinked back hot tears as I disposed of the evidence in the trash beneath used tissues and other random items. I didn’t want Lucian to see the test before I could talk to him...and that wouldn’t be happening until after I got home from work.
Hopefully that would give me enough time to figure out what to say—and what I was going to do. No, I couldn’t make a decision without discussing the situation with him. That wouldn’t be fair. But I should at least think about it first.
He’s going to be so pissed.
Thoughts of impending doom raced through my mind while I waited for my coffee to brew. A coffee I couldn’t drink because of the caffeine but made out of habit all the same.
It sat in my thermal mug all day, mocking me.
For the sake of my students and my ability to teach that day, I pushed any worry about Lucian’s reaction out of my brain. The thoughts kept trying to creep in, and I squashed them down until three o’clock.
As soon as my kiddos were on the bus, I closed the door to the classroom, sat down at my desk and cried. Full-on ugly sobbing.
I just got Lucian back and now he’s going to leave again.
According to him, finding out I was his true mate, had sent him spiraling out of control. A baby was going to push him over the edge. Talk about a life-altering change! We were going to be responsible for raising another human being.
Or were we?
Horror filled my chest, making the tears dry up. What if the baby came out a dragon? What if it came out with scales and magic? Was I even going to be able to give birth to it?
I’d seen the long talons and sharp teeth on Lucian when he was in dragon from. No way was I going to be able to push out a creature like that from my body without suffering some sort of damage. I probably wouldn’t even survive!
Just the thought of giving birth to a normal baby terrified me. I’d heard it was the most painful experience a woman could go through. But adragon?
And I’m going to get bigger. Even bigger than I already am.
There was no way I could avoid that. The baby would be growing inside of me, and I in turn, would get even fatter. I tried to imagine myself pregnant and didn’t like what I saw. Would people even realize Iwaspregnant? Or would they assume the worst about me?
I knew for a fact I wouldn’t be one of those cute girls who looked like they’d shoved a basketball up their t-shirt. I’d look like a hippo.
If Lucian and I had been together for longer than a handful of hours, I might have felt less insecure. Even better—if the baby had been planned and not the result of a one-night stand. But circumstances weren’t ideal, so my brain was on overdrive and my self-esteem was at a record low.
He was never going to stay with me, and he certainly wouldn’t look at me with desire once I turned into a pumpkin.
“This can’t be happening to me,” I whispered.
I looked up at the clock and knew I had to get back home. Lucian was waiting and somehow, I had to find the words to tell him my news.
I drove home and rehearsed a number of approaches. Funny, cute, serious, matter of fact.
Hey, guess what? You knocked me up with one try. Pretty good, huh?
There were too many options, and I didn’t know him well enough to know which would work best.
He’s a no-nonsense kind of guy, I think. So maybe I’ll just state it point blank.
When I walked into my house and saw him cooking dinner, I lost all my nerve.I’m only a few weeks. Maybe the test is a false positive.
Yes, that made perfect sense.
