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When I walked inside, Lucian was in the kitchen taking measurements. When his gaze fell on me, my heart sank. Despite the smile he wore on his lips, the light didn’t reach his eyes.
And his face... it had sunken in. When did he get so thin? Even his broad shoulders looked like a shell of their former glory. How did I miss such a dramatic transformation? Lucian wasn’t just miserable living here with me... he was dying. The longer he denied his dragon for me, the worse his condition became.
I put my hands over my face. “My God... Lucian... I’m so sorry.”
“Hmm?” he asked. “For?”
“Everything,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”
He walked over and put arms around me. “About what?”
“Us.”
His body stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“This isn’t working!” I blurted out, which was far from the graceful speech I’d had planned in the car. Lucian’s obvious deterioration had snapped me into a terrible headspace. Seeing him in such a state shook me.
Lucian balked. “Again, what do you mean? I thought things were going well between us. We’re not fighting. We’re creating a home. Nothing has been bad!”
“Are you kidding me?” I scoffed. “Lucian, I can see it all over your face. You hate it here.”
“No, I don’t.” He growled.
“Yes, you do!” I threw my hands up and turned away from, because if I continued to see his thin face and frame, I’d break into ugly crying. “And I hate myself for doing this to you. You deserve better than me!”
He gasped. “Hardly. You are my true mate. You’re the perfect one for me.”
“No, I’m not!” I snapped. “I’m killing you! You’ve lost weight. You don’t look happy! You seem weak. This isn’t right. None of this is okay! Stop lying to me to save my feelings and be honest with me for a change! How am I supposed to trust you otherwise?”
Lucian didn’t respond right away. “Fine! You want honesty? I’ll give you honesty. You’re right, I’m not happy.”
I cringed. Hearing the truth stung, but I also let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Relief washed over me. Finally. Now we were getting somewhere.
I spun around to face him.
“I’m not happy because I feel like I’m worthless to you,” he said. “Every day, you make it a point to tell me that you don’t need me. That this is temporary until you determine if I meet your expectations. I work all day long trying to please you, and it feels like you’re throwing it back in my face.”
“I do not,” I mumbled. “All I’ve asked is for a more realistic pacing. I don’t want to run off and marry a guy I just met a week ago.”
“It hasn’t been a week. It’s been—”
“Sixteen,” I interjected. “Yes, I know.” I pointed to my growing belly. “Believe me, I know.”
He growled again. “Well, I didn’t ask you to marry me!”
The way he said it made it sound as if he never intended to, either. “No, no you didn’t.”
“So I don’t understand why you’re so mad!”
“Because you just yelled at me for wanting something real with you.” Tears fell down my cheeks. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Something real. You play the part of a dutiful husband well. You take care of me physically, but you don’t talk to me. You act more like you’re my prisoner than anything else. And you’re not.”
I dared to look at him again and saw the deepest of glares. I shuddered.
“Where else am I supposed to go?” he asked. “I need to be with you and the baby to make sure you’re both okay.”
“No, you don’t.” I blinked away more tears. “We’re doing just fine. The doctor said he or she is in prime health. And big.” I still had the closed envelope that had the sex of the baby sealed away. “We can even find out what we’re having.”
I thought the news might soften him. I was wrong.
