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“I can’t give you any of that. There shouldn’t be room in your life for fooling around with some middle-aged c—” I stopped myself before I could say it.Cop.
The room turned silent. She stared at me, eyes wide, confused, wanting. I stepped closer.
“You did nothing wrong here. Nothing has happened that can’t be forgo—”
“Maybe not for you,” she snapped and turned her back to me. “Please just go.”
“Mila, I—”
“I said go!”
I glanced down at the floor, then nodded and slowly walked to the door. She had every right to want me gone. I stopped with my hand on the handle. “Again...I’m sorry. I hope we can still be friends.”
With feet as heavy as stone blocks, I left. I didn’t look back as if fleeing a crime scene. I was barely in my car in the dark, abandoned parking lot when the memory of her wetness and sweet whispers returned to me. Even her delicious taste still lingered on my tongue. At this point, I wasn’t even sure if I was hardagainorstill, but I had to get out of here. Far away from her. I needed to find a quiet and safe place where I could relieve myself before I burst a blood vessel.
“Fuck!” I smacked the steering wheel. Again and again—a new, fun habit I’d developed since meeting her—then turned the key to drive home. Not only had I hurt a sweet girl, but I’d also endangered the entire operation. Which, at this very moment, meant surprisingly little to me. The whole world could go up in flames for all I cared; all I wanted was her, her, and her again. I wanted her on so many levels. Wanted more than just a quick fuck. I realized that the moment I was about to slip my cock into her without a condom on. I’ve never slept with a woman without a condom. I should have been worried about the consequences of unprotected sex, but with her, I didn’t even care. I was okay with whatever followed. Simply because whatever would follow would be with her.
Even during the darkest night, the sun is still out there.That’s what my mother always used to say to me when I felt sad or scared as a kid.
“Even during the darkest night, the sun is still out there,” I mumbled to myself as I navigated the empty roads of Boston back to my apartment.
I just had to get some rest, which would probably not happen, but in any case, in the morning I would stop whining and regroup myself. Come up with a plan. Get what I needed to hand the case over to the FBI for a nice funding bonus for the station, and then all of this would be over with. I would never have to see Mila again...at least not when I was awake.
