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I was ready to confess, ready to get this all over with, ready for him to pull me from the case and have somebody else worry about Mila Kowitsch. But just as I was about to drop that weight off my shoulders, he stepped in front of me, blocking my view out into the rain.
“No, there isn’t.”
“What?” I asked, seriously confused.
“There’s nothing you have to confess to me; keep that for the cop shrink, and let me tell you something about the importance of this case. If you think I want Eagle so I can get Congress to roll out a red carpet for me and stick a medal to my chest, you’re wrong.” His words were harsh, his face animated. “I have cops out there right now as we speak, good cops: fathers, brothers, sons. Men who have to rotate through bullet proof vests because the funding isn’t there to protect them all. My prison cells are full of poor souls with mental issues because they didn’t belong there in the first place. I put you on the job because out of all the people I had to choose from, I knew how important it would be for you to clean up the old station and actually start helping people in this town. We need medicine, not a Band-Aid.” He took a step closer. “Now, if you want to tell me I put the wrong man on the job, then do it, and I’ll find someone else, even if that means I’ll lose the only real chance I got at this. I’ll respect that decision and not think less of you. But otherwise...I need you to swallow the Mother Theresa attitude and start moving through the shades of gray to get this fucking job done.”
The sound of the rain slapping pavement filled the streets. I knew exactly what he meant byyou of all people. He was talking about my mother. The woman was nothing short of an angel in my eyes. She’d been found dead in a police cell after an episode off her meds had driven her to prefer death over the hallucinations of the devil that night.
“Shit,” was all that escaped my lungs as I walked around my chief to give us both a little space.
“Noah.” The chief’s voice came from behind me now. It was kinder, apologetic, like an understanding father. “I’m not asking you to break the law or hide a body. But Iamasking you to do what needs to be done to make this happen. There won’t be evidence of any wrongdoing on your end if you know what I mean. So do what you gotta do. I’ve already taken care of that. The girl will be fine, probably even thrive, once she is rid of that serial killer brother of hers.”
I ignored him, my head filled with memories of my mother. She was the reason I’d become a cop in the first place. I didn’t blame the police for what happened to her that night. They did what they could to help her, showed her kindness over and over again. But they were also not trained to give her the help she really needed that day. So many poor souls out there needed that kind of help.
As much as I hated it, the chief had some valid points. I hadn’t committed a crime that any court of law would throw me in jail for, and yet, it still was a crime of decency.
My chest tightened; the air around me felt heavy as rocks. I was trapped. I had to choose which of the two women to let down.
“Even during the darkest night, the sun is still out there,” I mumbled to myself.
“What was that?” the chief asked.
I shook my head as I turned to face him. “Nothing.”
His serious eyes studied me.
“You can make first contact with the FBI,” I said as I started walking past him. Then I stopped and turned back to meet his gaze. “I’ll get you the info you need. But I’ll do it my way. And if that leads to nothing, then you need to come to terms with that, admit that you simply bet on the wrong horse this time.”
He thought about it, then nodded.
Maybe there was a way I could get this info out of her without playing the loving boyfriend she wanted. Maybe I could play with fire without getting us both burned. A lot of maybes, but I had to give it a shot. As things stood, I’d already played in the mud. It was too late to pretend that I wouldn’t get dirty. But I also didn’t have to drown in it. I’d always found a way, so why not this time?
“Thanks for the lint roller,” I said, the corner of my mouth lifting. “Just like you said, that thing’s become my best friend.”
He pursed his lips in a mixture of happy relief and guilt.
“On a different note,” I said, before getting the hell out of there, “were you able to switch my shifts to wildlife only?”
“Yes. No more animal abuse calls for you.”
Thank God. I hated those animal abuse calls; they increased the risk I might run into cops I knew. Wildlife was a different world. There was actually space for the animals in wildlife refuge centers, and most of the animals had bad luck rather than a shitty owner. As a cop, I had to deal with the unjust system that failed the humans; to have to wade through the cruel system that failed the animals too was more than I was willing to deal with right now.
“One more thing,” I said. “The girl.”
“What of her?”
“She won’t get any minor bullshit charges or be held in any other way.”
The chief frowned. “If she’s involved in his work or knew of it, then I can’t promise that.”
“Fair enough. But if she’s not, I don’t want to see her in court or blackmailed for info she doesn’t have or doesn’t want to give. She’ll get a pardon on the whole thing and the right to plead the fifth behind closed doors, not some stuffy courtroom.”
The chief stretched out his hand. I grabbed it and shook it.
“You have my word.”
I sighed in relief. At least I could give her that. And who knew, maybe the chief was right, and she’d live a much better life without her brother in it.
“Then let’s go and get that bastard,” I said.
