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The chief took a good look at me, then shrugged. “I don’t think she knows that her brother is a cold-blooded killer. But even my blind cat could see that he’s not Gandhi.”
I handed the chief back the file when another realization hit me. One that hurt even more than the fact that I would soon be exposed as a liar in front of the woman I loved.
“She’s doing this to protect me,” I mumbled.
“What was that?” the chief asked.
“The dinner tomorrow. She wants me to meet her brother in the wide open. To be seen with him. To protect me.”
Surprisingly, the chief didn’t disagree. “I’ve been thinking about that,” he said. “Which means she knows how dangerous he is but also seems to really like your annoying ass.”
All this worry about being her boy toy. “I’m such an idiot.”
The chief locked his gaze on mine. “Don’t be too harsh on yourself, Noah. You’re taking down a monster, risking your life for this operation.”
A spark of anger ignited inside my chest. Not against him or her, but myself.
“I’m lying to a sweet girl, who’ll be heartbroken once all this is over. She’ll lose the only family she has, and all of that thanks to my deception. Not exactly what I was hoping to have on my gravestone. Noah Carter: Cop. Liar. Master at messing people up for life.”
“Calm down, Noah.” The chief’s voice was soft and kind. “From what I gather, her life hasn’t exactly been smooth sailing. Andrei Kowitsch might have provided her with golden spoons, but he’s also locked her away from the world so he could go about his business killing people. Is that the kinda life a girl like her should live?”
His words were racing through my head.
“Andrei has made some powerful friends, but that comes with powerful enemies. It might be only a matter of time until some assassin visits his home, burns it to the ground—with her inside it.”
“I’d never let that happen!” I barked at him. The stuffy, smelly air in the room was now filled with tension as well. For a moment, we stood in silence until finally, the chief placed a fatherly hand on my shoulder.
“Of course you wouldn’t, Noah. You’re a good cop, and...” he paused briefly as a faint smile formed on his thin lips. “And a good man despite what you might think of yourself right now.”
It was strange. Maybe it was the honesty in his voice or the softness in his eyes, but for the first time in weeks, I let myself believe that again.
“We have to find out what hotel they’re staying at on their next trip. The FBI will have a search warrant ready for his room. If all goes well, all of this will be over soon.”
The words obviously didn’t cheer me the way he’d hoped for. He squeezed my shoulder and added: “I’ve already negotiated the details with the feds: you two will remain untouched. So maybe you two can...I don’t know, work it out, or something.”
Work it out.
He knew. Of course he would know how close Mila and I had become from our text messages, but that wasn’t what he was referring to. He was talking about something on a deeper level.
The fact that I loved her.
“Now,” he said, turning to the box of fish on the floor. “We better keep going.”
I nodded, knowing all too well that these meetings had to be short and to the point. He pointed at the box.
“Here, be a good Boy Scout and carry that to my car.”
“The fish? I’ll stink all day!”
“Could be a plus when you chase down those raccoons and strays.”
I laughed but hated myself for it. And yet, this was his way to deal with uncomfortable emotional situations. We were cops, had seen the best and worst of humanity. We weren’t exactly gonna talk about our feelings.
“Looking at your outfit, the stench might suit you better than me,” I countered but still picked up the box for him.
“Ah yeah, and why is that?”
He opened the door for me.
“Judging by your suit, I’d say you’re about to meet with some slimy politicians at some Michelin-starred restaurant or something.”
He laughed. “Please don’t get shot tomorrow. I’d really miss your unbearable ass.”
Our gazes locked on each other once more. It was a meaningful moment, both of us letting the silence say more than words ever could. I knew he cared for me deeply, just as much as I did for him. He was right. Taking down Andrei Kowitsch might be the best thing for Mila, even if she didn’t see that right away. It would be messy for a while, maybe she would hate me, but at least I could tell myself that my undercover work, and all the lies that came with it, would lead to the best for everybody.
The only remaining problem was that I had to make myself believe it too.
