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“My Queen, you rang?” a maid’s voice asked from behind the door.
I walked over and opened the door a tiny bit. “Yes, please see if you can find honey-mustard ham and sesame artichokes somewhere in the kitchen.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
During any other time, I would never ask for such an extravagant meal so late at night. I didn’t want to wake the cooks. But ever since Gunther had moved into the castle, the kitchen was working around the clock for his high-end needs and those of his staffers, which was a paradox considering members of the church were supposedly known for their simple lifestyles.
With feet as light as a feather, I made my way back to Alrick and sat down next to him. My head scrambled to pick one of the countless questions I’d wanted to ask him, when out of nowhere, one formed on my tongue that was far from playful and romantic.
“My father,” I said, turning serious. My finger played with one of my short curls, twisting it over and over again. “Did he say anything about me when you rode to my cousin’s together?”
The cheerful sparkle left Alrick’s eyes. He leaned forward and looked at me. His expression was uncertain, as if he feared to tell me the truth.
He shook his head. “No...not really. He apologized for the situation we were all in, stating it was all his fault. I reassured him it was not. I wanted to speak to him about King Algar, but given I am at war with him, I thought it better your father heard about him from you first.”
I tried hard not to show my disappointment. It felt as if I’d never had the chance to really reconcile with my father. Even if Alrick only remembered a few kind words from him on the ride north, it would have made me feel more at peace. The short moment I had shared with my father in the entrance hall was all I had to cling to, which I was grateful for, but it wasn’t enough to entirely rid myself of the guilt that my actions had caused his death.
“If I had just listened to him in the first place and chosen a suitor at the ball...” I said, surprising myself.
Alrick grabbed my hand. “Don’t blame yourself for any of this. How is it your fault that King Algar is the monster he is? If it wasn’t for him, your journey north would have been exactly what your father hoped it to be.”
I thought about what Alrick said, and it made sense in my head but not in my heart. Guilt, anger, self-blame, and disbelief constantly clouded my mind.
A soft knock interrupted us. I nodded toward the large dressing room adjoining my bedchamber. Alrick strode over without another moment to waste.
“Come in.”
Several maids rushed in and placed plates with honey-mustard ham, sesame artichokes, and pastries on the coffee table in front of me. They also brought carafes with water and wine, and a golden cup.
“I apologize for making you work this late,” I said. One of the maids, maybe mid-twenties with long walnut hair, turned to me with a smile.
“Think nothing of it, My Queen. When I lost my mother, I didn’t sleep for many months. The mind has ways of its own when tragedy strikes.”
The smell of ham spread through the room as I looked at her. I recognized her from somewhere. Then it struck me. She was the woman from the courtyard with the two children and no shoes!
“Your children,” I asked. “Are they well?”
The woman teared up. “They are going to school now, My Queen. Learning how to read.” She wiped away a tear. “We have a room to sleep in and food. All thanks to you. I never thought of you as the Night Queen. You were always an angel to me.”
I shook my head in disbelief. How anybody could have such kind words about me, even if they were untrue.
“Ring if you need anything else, My Queen,” she said and joined the other maids as they left.
“If it tastes as good as it smells, I apologize for ever calling you Berta,” Alrick joked as he came back out and sat next to me. “Although she was an amazing dog.”
I slapped him playfully on his arm. It was amazing to be in his presence again. Though I was hungry, I held back for a moment and watched him take the first bite of the honey-mustard ham. His eyes widened as he chewed, then he nodded. “By the gods, this is amazing.”
I chuckled. “Wait until you try the sesame arti—”
But Alrick had already stuffed some in his mouth. I chuckled again.
“Amazing,” he mumbled with a full mouth. Watching him brought me so much joy, I forgot to eat myself. I sat and watched him take bite after bite, washing down the food with wine, his face carefree and happy. He placed the cup of wine back on the table, the joy wiped from his face as his expression of exhaustion came back.
“You have to go, don’t you?” I asked, the usual expression of misery back on mine.
He nodded. “But I shall see you again tomorrow, at the crowning.”
He rose. So did I, every inch of my body screaming for him to stay. He smiled at me despite all the sadness.
