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“I’m just a realist,” she snaps. “There’s no point living in cloud cuckoo land. You’re not exactly a young girl’s dream, are you? No, it’s very clear to me that Jessica Gardner is all about money and I have a right to protect this family’s interests. I simply can’t have you just giving away priceless Egyptian artefacts to every cheap little gold-digger that comes sniffing around. I want her to give it back.”
My tone darkens. “Now, I’ve asked you nicely, and this is the last time I’ll say it. Please stop insulting Jessica. I love her and you don’t know a damn thing about our relationship, so keep your disgusting opinions to yourself. And no, I will not ask her to give back the Pharaoh’s Scarab, it belongs to her now.” I get up from the piano and begin pacing up and down the room. “I’ll have you know Jessica says she loves me too, and I happen to know her feelings for me are genuine. For the first time in my life, I’ve met someone who truly cares for me, but you can’t stand the thought of me ever being happy, can you? No, you want me to be as miserable and lonely as you all the time.”
I hesitate, deliberating whether to stick the knife in. “It’s not my fault my father—your dead husband—put a clause in his will saying if you ever remarry you will relinquish all access to his finances. I bet you’re mad because it means you can never find love again and I do sympathise. But you need to stop taking it out on me. You married the sick bastard, so you need to take some responsibility. From now on, I’m going to live my life the way I want and that means you’re going to be seeing a lot more of Jessica around here, so you might as well start getting used to it.”
“Loves you!” Beatrix rolls her eyes. “This just gets better and better. Wake up Alex, before it’s too late. Can’t you see she’s using you? All she wants you for is money, you can’t honestly believe her feelings for you are genuine.”
“So let me get this straight,” I say, jabbing my finger at her. “You set me up with my perfect woman, tell me it’s okay to screw her a couple of times, but it’s not okay for me to fall in love and have a proper relationship with her? Do you know how twisted and fucked up that is? What an awful, disgusting hypocrite that makes you? What a black-hearted soul you have.”
“Now Alex, I think you’re being quite hard on me,” she says, sounding genuinely hurt. “I am merely looking out for your best interests, okay? We both know this ‘thing’ you have with this girl can never work out in the long run. It’s just some crazy little infatuation you have, and it will pass, I promise you. What I want to do is ensure you don’t take us all down with you when it eventually all ends in tears.”
Flexing my knuckles, I try hard to keep my temper, but the woman is seriously testing my patience.
“Do you know what your problem with Jessica is?” I sneer. “You hate her because she’s working-class and lives on a council estate. You hate her because she’s poor. Deep down, you’re really a dreadful snob, and despite all your protestations to the contrary, you don’t want me to be with her because you see it as me taking a step down. Well, let me tell you something. Jessica has more class in her little finger than you’ll ever have, and if it was a choice between you and her, I’d choose her every single time.”
“All right,” Beatrix concedes, taking strides over to the window. “I’ll admit the girl is frightfully common. She doesn’t know how to use a knife and fork properly and certainly isn’t the sort of girl I’d want to have my grandchildren. But you know this isn’t about that, Alex. Perhaps if you were a normal person, it would be, but you’re not a normal person, are you? What’s going to happen when sweet little Jessica finds out the truth about what you really are?”
“And what am I, Mother? I’m still waiting to hear you say it.”
She turns on me with flashing eyes. “You know damn well what you are. All I’ll say is this: your ‘girlfriend’ could be in for a nasty shock when she finally finds out the truth. That’s if she lives long enough to tell the tale.”
“What are you insinuating?” I shout. “That I might harm Jessica? How dare you! I would never ever do anything to hurt her.”
“Oh really? I wouldn’t be so sure.” She reaches inside her pocket, takes out a packet of cigarettes and lights one. “Now, my advice is for you to forget about this girl, Alex. You’re young and naïve. You hardly know her. I understand you lost your virginity to her, so you’re going through all these emotions that make you think you are in love, but believe me, you’re not. It’s just about sex, and to that end, I’m more than willing to speak to the agency and find you another virgin. I’ll get you ten virgins if that’s what it takes for you to leave Jessica Gardner alone. This fixation you have with her isn’t healthy and it will only end it tears.”
The walls of the room begin to shake. A heavy wooden cabinet suddenly crashes to the floor. Trembling uncontrollably, Beatrix drops her cigarette and stares at me with saucer eyes. “You just did that, didn’t you? I made you angry, so you made the walls vibrate.”
I let my breath out slowly to calm down.Fuck, she winds me up so much I want to destroy every piece of furniture in this room.
“I think it’s time we parted ways, Mother,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. “You’ve gone too far this time. As of tomorrow, I want you to pack up your things and make arrangements to move out of Claremont Hall. I’m sorry, but this just isn’t working anymore. It’s very clear you’re going to be an obstacle to my relationship with Jessica, and I won’t allow that to happen. I told you, she’s all that I want and if it’s a choice between you and her, I’ll choose Jessica every time.”
“You cannot be serious,” she scoffs. “You would kick your own mother out of her home for that little floozy? Have you truly lost your mind?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll see to it that you’re comfortable. We’ll get you installed in our Oxfordshire property and if you’d like, I’ll allow Mrs Bullivant to go along with you. How’s that sound?”
“No, Alex. This is my home, why should I be thrown out like a piece of old rubbish? All because you have some infatuation with a cheap little hussy.”
“I told you, no more insults. Look, I just think we’d both be better off apart from each other. If we’re honest, this hasn’t been working for a long time. You hate me, you say I drive you crazy, you think I’m controlling the weather and making rooms shake. I’m clearly not having a good influence on your mental state. Well, now is your chance to finally be free of me. We’re always at each other’s throats and this could be a brand-new start for us. We’ll probably have a better relationship living apart.”
Beatrix lapses into a morose silence. She can tell from my expression that my mind is made up and knows I’m stubborn as a mule when pushed too far. If my mother knows what’s good for her, she’ll go quietly. Take my generous offer of the house in Oxfordshire and the services of Mrs Bullivant and leave me be. That would be the sensible thing to do, and I hope she does. If, however, she decides to dig her heels in and make trouble, she can be sure it won’t end well.
“All right,” my mother says finally, “I’ll make plans to be out of here by tomorrow. I could certainly do with a break from you. But I warn you, Alex, I don’t like this one little bit. Your obsession with this girl is going to be the ending of you if you’re not careful. You know as well as I that you can’t keep a romance alive when there are so many secrets you are keeping. Just don’t come crying to me when it all blows up in your face because you only have yourself to blame.”
“Fine,” I say, smiling coldly. “I won’t come to you because it’s not going to happen. But thank you for being so accommodating. I’ll speak to Mrs Bullivant today and we can begin to get things going for your move to Oxfordshire.”
Picking up her cigarette butt from the floor, Beatrix turns and sweeps out of the room in a huff, leaving me feeling disturbed. On the one hand, I’m pleased to finally have my mother out of my hair for good, but on the other, her harsh assessment of Jessica has affected me more than I care to admit.
Underneath my bravado, I’m deeply insecure about myself and it doesn’t take a lot for me to start questioning things. Could Beatrix be right? Could Jessica just be stringing me along for the money? She says she love me but does she, or is she just saying that to pacify me?
I know she enjoys our lovemaking. How could she not? Now she’s had a taste of the demon dick, there’s no going back, and nothing else will do. Once she let me come inside her it was game over. I’ve embedded my semen deep within her core and now desire for me flows through her veins as organically as blood.
No matter how hard she fights it, no matter how many times she tries to run away, I know she will always come back to me because she’s addicted to my cock, and that’s my trump card every single time. No other man will ever be able to satisfy her the way I do, and on that count, I know that pussy is mine forever.
But true love…now that’s an entirely different animal. Sexual attraction is not the same as love, and what I want from Jessica is her complete devotion to me, body, heart and soul. I will not settle for anything less.
Despondently, I sit back at the piano and try to resume my composition from earlier but find it impossible; I’m just not with it anymore. Beatrix has planted a seed of doubt that is fast growing into an obsession, and I need something to hold onto to give me comfort. Closing the lid of the Steinway, I get up and go upstairs to my bedroom in search of the one thing that always uplifts my spirits. Stepping into my walk-in wardrobe, I run my fingers along the rails until I find what I’m looking for: the treasured clothes Jessica wore the first night she stayed over.
Greedily, I submerge my face in her delicate white T-shirt and get intoxicated from her glorious scent. Mrs Bullivant had wanted to wash them, but I flat-out refused. My beauty’s garments must stay exactly as they are, bathed in the sweet sensual aroma of her warm body. Her jeans, her T-shirt, her bra and most of all her knickers, so deliciously tantalising I can barely contain my excitement when holding them. These sacred items are what keep me going for the long periods of time we are apart. They are what I need to help me climax every single night when I pleasure myself.
