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Cass didn’t like being alone, that was true.“You’ll be there,” she said.
“After work,” she said.“Really, I just wanted you to be able to get away.”
“I’m capable of planning a vacation,” Cass said.
“Yeah,” Bea and Lauren said together.Unsaid words hung in the air.
“But you haven’t,” Bea finally said, giving voice to them.“You and West were going to go to that bird refuge, and you cancelled it.”By the time she finished speaking, her voice had dropped to a whisper.
“I’m aware.”Cass couldn’t keep the acidic bite out of her voice.She hadn’t even been able to open the package the bird watching guide had come in.She’d stuffed it on a shelf in the living room and left it.
“Liz will take Beryl,” Bea said, tilting her phone toward Cass.Liz leaned forward from down the row too, her head nodding.
Cass pressed her lips together, the words she wanted to say pulsing against them.The ceremony was about to start, and while she’d partially pressured Bea to go to Hilton Head last summer—and she’d love to spend time on the beach with her best friend—Cass didn’t like being the one needled to do what she didn’t want to do.
“I’m not ready,” she finally said, and no one could argue with that.She looked at Bea, then Lauren, and both of them nodded.
Bea tucked her phone under her leg and gave Cass a smile.“Okay.”She looped her arm through Cass’s.“You’ll tell us when you are, and we’ll help you plan the most amazing getaway.”
“Again, I know how to plan a vacation,” Cass said.It was taking it alone she didn’t know if she could stomach.
“There he is,”she said a couple of hours later.She’d been able to text Conrad and use some very strong words about how everyone was waiting for him.She’d planned a huge luncheon for family and friends at her house, but the guest of honor hadn’t showed.
He did now, his smile wide as he enfolded his grandparents into a double-hug.They laughed, and Cass stood out of the way while Conrad went around to his sisters, his aunts and uncles, and even her friends.Finally, he faced her, and Cass could only smile at him.
They’d gotten along fine, but Cass knew Conrad missed his father a great deal.He engulfed her in a hug, but not before she’d seen the glint of tears in his eyes.He’d never cried in front of her.Not at the funeral.Not at home when it was just the two of them.
“I love you,” she whispered.“He loved you so much.”
“I know, Mom.”Conrad stepped back and sniffed.He put a smile on his face and turned around.“I’m starving.Is there any food here?”
That caused Liz, Bessie, and Bea to go into a near-uprising, as they’d helped Cass with the food that morning before the ceremony.Bea swatted at Conrad with an oven mitt, and he laughed as he danced out of the way.Cass recognized the coping mechanism.Whenever things got too emotional for Conrad, he made jokes.
Cass had her own coping mechanisms, and she let Liz take over in welcoming everyone to the party.She presented Conrad with the biggest greeting card Cass had ever seen—a two-foot by three-foot thing with tons of glitter on the front covering the numbers for the year of his graduation.
“We all pitched in so you’d have some spending money in Europe this summer,” she said.Liz opened the card and a gallon-sized zipper bag dropped out of it, weighed down by the wads of cash inside.
A gasp flew through the crowd.“My goodness,” Cass’s mother said.“If I’d have known he had that much already, I wouldn’t have given as much.”
Yes, she would’ve, but Cass said nothing.Her parents had been nothing but generous over the years, and honestly, without Bea here in Sweet Water Falls, Cass had relied on her mother a great deal since West’s death.
Conrad’s eyes turned glassy again, and he thanked everyone, hugged Liz again, and hastily took the greeting card back inside the house.When he returned, Cass realized every eye had landed on her.She hadn’t wanted any of the spotlight today.She didn’t mind being in it from time to time, especially at a party she’d put together so flawlessly.
From the streamers in his high school colors of red, black, and white, to the banners she’d had professionally printed, to all the shade she’d installed over the deck, this party was spectacular.The plastic dishes and cutlery matched everything, and she’d hand-dyed tablecloths to ensure everything was seamless and perfect.
After all, a person only graduated once.She’d hired Joy to be the professional photographer, and they’d gotten amazing shots a month or so ago for the announcements, as well as several yesterday with the letters the school took to the convention center for the ceremony.That way, they hadn’t had to stay after today, and they’d been able to come here for lunch faster.
But at the house, West usually welcomed everyone and presented the gifts.Liz had done that.And now…
“Did you want to say grace, honey?”Momma finally prompted her.
Cass startled, her eyes going wide.West did that too, and now that he wasn’t here, Cass had to do it.“Yes.”She cleared her throat.“Yes, let’s say grace, and then we can eat.”
“Conrad wanted cake first,” Bessie piped up.“Remember?”
“Yes,” Cass said, though she’d forgotten.She honestly didn’t know where her brain had gone.She usually knew every line item of the overall plan.“Daddy, would you pray for us?Then Bessie will bring out the cake, and people can eat dessert first if they’d like.”
Conrad stepped to her side, and Cass put her hand in his elbow as they bowed their heads.He’d be gone in the morning, off on a European adventure with Jane.They hadn’t invited anyone else, and Cass had felt left out for a few seconds.Then she’d realized that her son needed this time with his sister, and Jane needed it with him too.
