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“It’s been eighteen months,” Cass said.“How can that possibly be considered rushing?”
“Harrison’s…well, he’s not really your type, Mom.”
“How would you even know?”Cass asked.Her frustration grew and grew, and she honestly didn’t have the energy for this conversation.“We have to finish today.I’m not changing my flight again.”She’d rebooked for Tuesday, hoping Jane would be tired of Sweet Water Falls after three days.To Cass’s knowledge, her daughter hadn’t stayed in one place for that long yet this year.
She left the kitchen and headed for the hallway.She’d stacked all of the things she still needed to figure out what to do with before she listed the house in Conrad’s old bedroom, and she and Sariah had gone through almost everything.For Cass, it was the second time through, and she’d selected nothing from the boxes.
Sariah had two she would be taking with her, once she and Robbie found an apartment in San Antonio.Her husband had gone north to the city to look for something this weekend, and Cass had prayed mightily that he’d find the perfect place.
“Jane says she’s staying for a couple of weeks.”Sariah’s footsteps scrambled behind Cass.“You can’t leave on Tuesday.”
Cass said nothing as she faced the obstacles in the bedroom.That was what these boxes represented for her.Obstacles.Other than this room, and a few hours of cleaning and straightening now that she and Sariah had been staying in the house for a couple of weeks, the house was ready to list.
She’d paid a landscaping company to keep the yard in tip-top shape all summer.She’d wiped away the dust and cobwebs when she’d first arrived.She really was ready to walk out of this house, give the lock one final turn, and face her future.
“Mama,” Sariah said.
Cass lifted her coffee to her lips and said nothing.
“Robbie and I could take the house.”
Cass’s eyebrows went up as surprise moved through her.“You have a job in the city that starts in two weeks.”
“I can commute.”
Cass smiled and shook her head.“It’s two hours one-way, Sariah.That isn’t going to work.”
Her daughter looked around, clear frustration in her expression.“I—sell it to us anyway.We’ll figure out what to do with it.”She met Cass’s gaze with defiance and challenge in hers.
Cass didn’t want to deny her, though she knew Sariah and Robbie couldn’t afford this house.Not what Cass could get for it on the open market, at least.Her heart tore again, battling within itself as to what she should do.
She didn’t want to cut ties with Sweet Water Falls.She had friends here.Family.She’d love to come visit.She simply didn’t want to live here anymore.She really was ready to move on.She thought of the beach house on Hilton Head, and how free she’d felt there.She might still run into a friend who she’d known, or who had worked with West, but the entire sky wasn’t painted with sadness.
She didn’t have to choose which road she took so carefully, just so she wouldn’t go by the strip mall where West had died.
She didn’t have to feel his very essence in the walls, or imagine she could still smell his cologne in the sheets and bath towels.
She really was ready to take the steps she’d taken, and she didn’t want to go backward.
“I don’t know,” she said.She put her coffee on the windowsill and faced Sariah again.“Honestly?I think we all need a fresh start.You have Robbie, this new job in the city, and he’s only got a year of college left.”She smiled at her daughter, but Sariah’s eyes shot flames at her.
They then welled with tears, and she spun away from Cass.“You’re going to erase him.”She stomped out of the room, leaving Cass with the whiplashed words moving through her mind.
“No,” she said quietly.“I’m not.He lives in all of us.”She looked around the bedroom.“A house is just a house.Why can’t they see that?”
A home was created by those that lived there, breathed there, loved there.Cass felt nothing in this house anymore, and for her, that was only another sign that she didn’t belong here.
She left her son’s old bedroom and went into the kitchen.Sariah wasn’t there, and Cass turned in a full circle as she scanned the living room, dining room, out to the deck, and then toward the front door to find her.
A sigh fell from her lips, and she went to look outside.Sariah’s husband had taken their car to San Antonio that day, and she found her daughter sitting on the front steps, her knees curled to her chest.She sobbed, and Cass’s heart broke all over again.
She hesitated, which made her feel even guiltier, and then she hurried to her oldest daughter’s side.“Hey.”She sat next to her, and Sariah didn’t resist as Cass drew her into her chest.She cried there, and while Jane had usually been the one to break down and have temper tantrums growing up, Cass had spent plenty of her time consoling Sariah too.
She didn’t know what else to say.They’d said enough for now, and Cass could only pray that when Jane showed up, she’d finally find an ally among her children.
Jane didn’t arriveby lunch, as Cass predicted she wouldn’t.She and Sariah had gone through the last of the boxes, and Sariah had put the three she wanted to keep in the bedroom where she and Robbie were staying.
Her husband had kept her up-to-date on all the apartments he’d looked at that day, and he was currently making the drive back from the city.
